You sound pretty organized. Me, not so much. I am just trying to get by each day as it comes. I can't think more than a couple days ahead.

Traci, best of luck in your endeavor to follow your goals. I do hope you find the essential you... God bless...
Best wishes and warm hugs,
Mary

I hope you achieve all of your goals.

Trici asking the questions and seeking the answer is a huge step in redefining ourselves. Opening yourself to the universe makes the possibilities endless which I think is a good thing. On this journey you will discover strengths you didnt know you had. I totally agree with your attitiude about plans. It gives you a framework to work from as long as adaptability is a huge component of it. You will write a new chapter in your life and we will be here to cheer you on. Big hug my friend I know this is a incredibly tough week. Wishing you peace. God bless. Gerald

I wish you the best in your new life, you sound like an amazing person! This is the first Christmas without my husband. My daughter is working as a nurse and she is on duty today. So it is just my dog Teddy, and myself, doing what we want to do. I like that, especially with all the hustle and bustle of the holidays. Yesterday was a beautiful day with my family, my daughter's boyfriend and my daughter in law's father. He lost his wife 3 weeks before my husband. So we are in the grieving process together.
I have new goals for my new life. I will be moving closer to my son and his family, which is going to be very cleansing. I am ready for a new start, a new beginning. It is scary, but exciting. I am energetic and love life, and will definitely be open to new opportunities! Lets keep in touch! Patricia

You are going to be fine! It happens over time and you sound very open to being all that you can be!
Rock on!

Sounds like you have a good plan, very organized. Hope you can get it done. My main one is who am I, I was always defined by being her husband it was all I really wanted so now it is all new. Baby steps as they say.
Best to you,
Jeff

Trici, Its like you were writing about me. I too have to reinvent myself. I feel pretty lost on how. I have this feeling that I need to actively work on a new / different life or otherwise every day life circumstances will dictate my life to me. I am no longer willing to be pushed this way or that by the winds of circumstance and yet I am at a loss on where to take a stand or which direction to take. I pray daily that a path filled with purpose, contentment and love will come to me. My hope is that you too find your path. Best wishes to you.

This seems like a very positive step, just the fact your thinking about these things must be a sign your moving forward. I feel like I need to reinvent myself as I and not us, moving ahead without leaving him behind though. I wish you well on your plan and hopefully we are all moving ahead in our own ways. I am tired of just existing I want to live again.

Thanks for all the wishes of luck and back at you! Through Christmas I rode the wave making a plan, my day at home with just the critters I thought was better than trying to be nice.... or happy.

Today I feel like I just crashed into a reef. How, you who are still working handle this is beyond me. I think I'll go to the movies, nothing like escapism some days. Love n hugs, Trici

Hi Trici,

I commend you on your plan. You said that you like to write. I was told by my therapist to write a plan for how I was going to spend the first anniversary of my husband's death. That mere suggestion was the most powerful thing I have experience I have had this past year. I went from anxiety filled dread to the tender hearted but well organize woman I have always been. I wrote out my plan as thoughts came to me. The day then,was serene, thoughtful and ceremonial.

My point is, that you are definitely on track. By exploring and writing about who you are and who you want to become, will both crystallize your goals and motivate you in those directions you seek. I am sure you already know this, but sometimes when we in a darker place, we forget the strength that lies within.

I have been keeping two Journals since Michael died. One is a five year journal (with only enough space to write 3 or 4 lines) that gives me a day to day sense of how I am spending my energy and how I am feeling.
Amazing the progress I did not realize I made until I re-read the entriesof year One. The other journal is for more intense thinking...writing about who I am, what do I want in my "new normal" life; grieving my marriage by looking at its strengths and challenges; identifying my resentment (and I think us widows and widowers have many of them. It is why we rewrite our address book.) But, I want to be careful not to throw the baby out with the bathwater. Journaling helps me to dissipate inappropriate anger and to decide how I want to handle each situation.
Well you get my drift. Take your God given love of writing and your feelings/memories to help you heal.
A gift to all of us would be to publish those entries you would be willing to share on the DS journal site.
Peace and blessings,
Jan

Thanks Jan,
Writing helps. Just when I think I'm doing better, bam I crash again. Reading posts from others I at least know this is normal.
This new normal is quite a bit to warm my brain around. Thanks, Trici