Oh my gosh, I am so sorry this is happening to you and your daughter. I am afraid I am probably not much help but I will try. I have spent some time talking to my grandsons (about the same age as your daughter) about Grandpa being an angel in Heaven and I think that helped them some. I have seen Christmas ornaments with the beloved one's picture on it.......perhaps you and your daughter could make something like that? Or maybe light a candle for him at the Christmas dinner table? I am really not sure and I am probably not much help but I'm thinking that some way to incorporate Daddy's memory into the holiday season might help your daughter to realize that while birth and death are transitional states, life and love are eternal.

Sylvia

I am so sorry for your loss and for your daughter's loss. I agree that you should make him part of your holiday. My children were in their 20's when we lost my husband last year. I wasn't sure I was going to have a tree as it was not quite 3 months after his death. But then I realized I'd feel even worse not having Christmas. Talk about past Christmas holidays with him and keep some traditions. Try to spend time with others so the loss is not so overwhelming for you both. It helps during the holidays as it can be so very difficult. I know you'll get through this, I can sense your strength. You will do what you need to for your little girl. God Bless

My youngest son is about to be 9. His dad died 2 years ago & they adored each other. I guess he's lucky that his dad wasn't such a xmas fan & he passed 10 days later. I'd say the advice above seems pretty good. Neither my husband or I were believers, so it would have been difficult advice for me to follow.

I'm a therapist, I'm also a new widow and my training went completely out the window when the loss shattered life as I knew it . With that said, I can share some of the things that I have done with kids that I have treated for grief. Allow your daughter to talk about her daddy and try to help her remember the best memories. Let her make a craft project of an angel and smother it with glitter and allow her to place it on the tree or wherever she wants to or get a helium ballon and have her attach a note to it and let her let it go. Chances are at her school there is probably a counselor. Contact her teacher and find out about getting her some counseling and in the midst of all of this please find some outlet for you, a therapist, a grief support group, a
SIce of pizza with a good friend. Anything that you can. I can't imagine your pain and how difficult your journey is trying to take care of your little one while going through your own grief. Sending thoughts and prayers to you and your little one.

Thank you all for the support and advice. I have a 14 year old too. She is in complete denial. I just allow her to handle it her own way. But I keep waiting for the moment it's going to hit. They were both Daddy's girls and he was so good to them. I'm just sick for them. I will try all of your suggestions to see if that helps. She is so little to bear such loss.

My teen was 15. . . he has avoided talking about it etc. I do know he felt super-guilty because the last time they had spoken he had said some nasty things (typical teen stuff). Then he wouldn't go with me on the weekly visit to the hospital (he went once but stayed out of sight bec he didn't want to see him as bad off as he was- he was on life support for awhile, with a breathing tube).

What a wonderful tribute to her Dad. Bless you both sounds like there is some light happening at your home !!! Hugs and love sent to you both :)

I'm also in the same boat as you. This year will also be my children's first Christmas without their dad. They are 15, 13, and 4. The older two seem to be handling themselves well. They were with him at the hospital during his last days and they were actually holding his hands the moment he passed. So, they were able to accept how sick he was and they have begun to accept that he's at peace in Heaven. My youngest daughter, however, will be a different story. Every day she tells me how much she misses her daddy. All I can say to that is, "I miss him too. He's in Heaven watching over you right now and he wants you to be happy."

Michael was always really into Christmas. I can honestly say that each Christmas we had with the children (14 total), he was up at the crack of dawn ready to get them up. It was all I could do to keep him from waking the kids before 7:00 a.m. The kids never got up on their own, he would go in their rooms and excitedly wake them up to see what Santa brought them. I know that they will all be missing that this Christmas.

My heart goes out to you because I know that it won't be easy. I just have to keep reminding myself that I would not want him here suffering, pushing himself through his illness. I know that he is at peace, no longer suffering. This is just going to be another "first" for me. I've already pushed myself through the "first" anniversary, son's birthday, daughter's birthday, Michael's birthday, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Thanksgiving, and soon I can add Christmas to that growing list.

You and your family are in my prayers.

I can't even begin to imagine what if feels like for you and your daughter, I'm really sorry for your tremendous loss.
I read some really great advise so far on this thread, especially the one from the therepist, getting a balloon and attaching a letter to her Dad and letting it go.
That may be a good idea for you too?
I will keep you in my prayers, I hope you have a wonderful Christmas.
Blessings!