Oh Letty! I'm so sorry you are having such a bad time. I also have been busy. Between working as a home care worker, my full time job, that I love, and trying to fill my days off with lunches out, I've been busy! But I, like you do better when I keep busy. And my 3 fur babies really help!! When I find my schedule open or cleared, I take the initiative to contact SOMEONE to go out to breakfast or lunch with. Fellowship has been the key to keeping myself from being so lonely and starting to feel depressed. Bob was my whole world! Now my world is different! Not better! But different. I'm trying to live, and even laugh again. I can! By God's grace! . Praying for you.
Loves....Karla

Hi Letty,

I am happy to hear about your new niece. For me, I am able draw great strength from my 3 grandchildren. It is their pure unselfish love that I need so much right now.

All my deaths experienced previously had been long distance with lost connections with time and distance. Either I didn't know a widow/widower up close and personal (or paid no attention or gave any thought to what they must be going through or just plain didn't care to get involved). So in my ignorance going into this, I thought, "2 weeks of grieving and I'll be okay". Well, I'm just shy of 3 1/2 months, and only very slowly starting to come back to the land of the living about 5 weeks ago. I am truly sorry for your loss and your sadness. I am only just beginning to comprehend what real grief and mourning is really about. It is impossible to understand unless you've been through it yourself (or going through it). It is mind-boggling. It is like a really bad dream we can't seem to wake up from. I say all this to let you know how important it is that people like you reinforce for us "newbies" that this is a long process. It just can't be rushed through. Thank you so much for sharing. Remember He said, "My grace is sufficient unto thee". I keep claiming it. God's peace and His blessings are upon you. ~ Scott

I'm so sorry Letty, I am right behind you, its almost 10 months for me too...I've been off and on sad and crying, seemingly at random lately.. All this work on my house, and i find myself thinking "what for?! I'm alone and i have nobody to share anything with now"

All of the "we" things keep getting to me too..

Yes, time is flying by..I cant even believe how quickly its passed..

We are all here for you Letty..You're not totally alone, and I know exactly what you mean, as i sit here in the near dark, by myself in this empty house..

Oh letty, along with all these posts I feel so alone too. I sit on my couch watching tv every night, waiting for the sleeping pills to kick in, then a crawl into bed. It's the silence of the house that's the hardest. I, glad you have family. It's only been three months and I can't imagine how strong you must be to survive ten months. Sending my hugs and prayers to you and everyone who posted here.

The emotional roller coaster is almost unbearable, but I am so glad to hear about your wonderful news about being an Aunt again. Congratulations!!!!
I found my solace in my pets so I never feel alone anymore. After his passing, I rescued a dog and two kittens and because I don't work, they are with me 24/7. They follow me around the house, sit with me on the couch, lay on my desk in the office and sleep with me every night. Like you, I don't feel like talking to anyone anymore. Sometimes I feel like they are looking at me differently hence why I prefer the animals. They don't speak, yet I still talk to them all the time, and they give me unconditional love and attention constantly. They are my own personal companions and I've realized how much they are helping me heal.
I really hope you have a good day tomorrow and if you start the roller coaster, take a deep breath and remember it will pass. You are in my prayers.