I am so sorry for your loss. It is good you are here for support.
My husband, Ben passed 13 months ago. ... I, also have found going In to this second year, a very big upheaval for me, In Many ways.
I know I have Utmost assurance in My Faith in God. However, living every day, without my husband, is a daily challenge.
I see you have been lurking and reading here. You will find it makes a big difference, when you start to participate and interact with all of us here.
We are in different stages of grief, however, most of us here, will jump in if we feel, we can encourage you, on this very unpredictable journey.
Lots of hugs to you. I look forward to your next post .......
Sandra

I, too, am in my second year, entering my third and it's just as hard as the firs and different.

The fog has cleared and although I'm seeing more clearly.....I'm not happy of what I see. I see loneliness, sadness, despondency, enlightened grief and the knowledge that this is NOT a bad dream.

The fog protected me and didn't allow me to absorb the "stuff" that was happening around me. I accomplished a lot in the past 26 months. I took care of business, kept my full time job, confronted difficult issues and made huge decisions all on my own!

My husband was the heavy lifter in our relationship, he took care of the "big" stuff and I took care of the frills, the fun, the entertainment. Now, I'm doing EVERYTHING!

Some days I just want to crawl into a ball and do NOTHING......but, there's a 95lb Black Lab named Horton who insists that I get up, walk him, feed him, groom him, water him, bathe him and most importantly love him.

He's my saving grace and I shall forever be grateful to him for withstanding the terror in my voice when I wake from a bad dream and he's staring at me, with those soulful eyes to try and comfort me.

I hear you redrooster, and want you to know you definitely are NOT ALONE and, I totally understand what you're say and what you're feeling.

Roz

Ladies, yes all of you, 21 days away from one year and I echo each of your comments. Going into the 2 nd year is harder. It's really real now. The fog has lifted and it's just me. Sad, lonely, depressed. Did I mention sad, lonely and depressed? I too have accomplished much, but so much more yet to do and no desire to do anything. Future looks bleak, so why struggle like this? Thank God for the fur baby that needs me or I would not want to get out of bed most days. I feel your pain red rooster. We all do.

I so relate with you all. It has been 14months & just today I was thinking that a year ago today I was meeting with the family that had just bought our home that we lived in for almost 10yrs. Even though I know the right decision was to sell & move & it will be a year come Sept, like all of you I'm finding that it hasn't gotten much easier.

I just miss him so much & even though I promised to be strong
it's not easy, but I made a promise & will keep it not matter how I feel.

take care

So sorry for your loss, and it is a great loss!! I'm a newbie! My Bob passed this January! We were together 41 years!! Life is so hard and lonely without him!! My hardest time is when I am on my way home from work on Friday nights. Just knowing that he won't be there to greet me. I have several days off each week and I have found that if I fill up my down time with lunches out with friends activities etc, it really helps not to be alone all the time. Of course I have my 3 fur babies!! They are my joy! I Try to focus on the Lord and His blessings in my life, and I put on praise music to lift my spirit. It really works most of the time!! You are not alone, He is with you, and we are too!!
Karla

Hmm . . . I think for all of us it is differing for sure. I'm going on 16 months and made some risky decisions as to "moving on". Let me first say, it is not easy to discipline one self to the mind set of moving on . . it can be so easy to stay in the daily widow grief mode. I guess what I'm saying is that I had to push myself against all odds to want to live and want to achieve a new future that could be (not promised) fulfilling. This involves a lot of risk and outside the box thinking. I didn't give up, decided to not give up. Again, our timelines are differing for each. The point? You read The Daily Motivator, as do I . . and I have for almost 15 years. It helps me through a lot of complications in day in and outs of life. It sounds like you have a desire to be positive and keep it moving. Intent and desire goes a long way in achieving that which we truly want. Keep your positive thoughts . . . I'll be thinking positive for you also. Hang in there, you are not alone. xo, Dayna