Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Nicker07 05/12/2011

My neighbor asked if I was thinking of moving - he was very kind, said do not go until you are ready, I just heard you mentioned it to one other friend. I said I had thought about it because I am afraid this place will financially bring me down & the fact there is no place decent for work, but mostly because at times without Roger our dream was this - & not sure what I feel about that.

Pros: I can pay this off -
I am looking at a place near Boise, Idaho where my son lives - 30 miles from him, I can pay it off and owe nothing -
There are more jobs available in that area both in Nampa and Boise.

Cons: No trees - more desert type area
No wildlife - I see deer/elk
Not much snow ( which ok I can handle that I could not get my friends to take me snowmobiling this year as a single)
Hot due to desert compared to mild summers here

Place does not have fencing yet (I can do that)
No trees on the whole place - sagebrush but nice place otherwise

MOST cons: two teenage grandkids here that need me in many ways
My Mom still here no other sibling close by

BUT I would love to feel financially more secure with no payments on place to worry about....sigh
One minute I am excited next I am.....ahhhh what to do

heartsick1 05/12/2011

I think you will no when the time is right. I would go slow, it does not hurt to put feelers out for jobs and also get an idea what your place would sell for. Nothing says you need to make a decision right now.

Lininsocal 05/12/2011

I have anguished over moving until I was in a deep depression. I will eventually move. Grandkids are such a factor but you need your OWN life and not one that is tied down with responsibilities to anything that you shouldn't be. What are the maintainance factors? The snow, it gets hard in winters. Opportunity for friends and family...Choices that will drive you batty!!! I have struggled with moving and buying a car. I anguished over the decision, figuring out the pro's and con's. I bought a car and decided to take in a room mate for a year or so then think about moving. I woke up this morning joyful for the first time in so very long.
Pray on it, God will guide you, it will be in your heart and you will find peace. Bless you...Linda

julie50501 05/12/2011

Well, they say to wait a year before deciding anything. Me, I waited 18 months, the last 6 only because I knew there would be snow on the mountains, and I wanted to wait until it was gone to make the 1700 mile move. However, when I visited Oregon in September 2010, I had a very hard time leaving. In your case, I think you might need more time before you decide. The first year is such a roller coaster; give yourself that gift of time, and know you are making the right decision when you do make it, even if you, like I, feel a little frustrated that is isn't happening sooner. Also remember, no decision is forever, you can change your mind if it doesn't work out.

deleted_user 05/13/2011

I moved to be nearer to my children and it is the best thing I did. I am much happier here.
I am still alone, but at least my children are nearby. I haven't made any close friends yet even though there are still people here that I knew when I lived here before. I guess I am not ready to do that. I have been reading a lot and keep busy with that and my genealogy, so I don't just sit here and do nothing.
But there are pros and cons about moving. Don't try to make any quick decisions if you are not comfortable. Judith

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