They mean well....I wish someone would offer to help me..... you are blessed.....the first two weeks I was able to function also....now, I am into 8 weeks.... seems it gets harder all the time...Please don't crash and burn... so to speak....I find my patience gets shorter with people, all the time....I try t o be gracious, but inside......kinda irks me......Take care of yourself....hugs

I think when you have been a caregiver, especially for a long tough journey, it really isn't that terrible immediately. You are busy, there are things that must be done. Plus, for me at least, there was a sense of relief... that he was no longer suffering.

But as time passes, the stuff has been done, the caregiver part starts to fade... and then for me, it really hit. My friend, my partner, my soul mate is gone. And the loss hit me again, this time differently.

In any case, we ALL GRIEVE differently. And there is no right way or wrong way in regards to time. But it is not a linear journey for sure.

You are very fortunate people are concerned about you, the best thing you can say is something like, "I'm ok, however in the future if I need help can I call on you" -

Who knows you may need help for something you can't do on your on like plumbing, electrical, car maintenance, etc ...

I know for myself, I went through a pissy period of "don't tell me anything I don't want to hear or "I want what I want when I want it" -

It drove me to want to stay home & the reason for that was I had a raw nerve sticking out. My gut instincts were telling me I had something that needed mending otherwise I wouldn't be reacting in such a way -

And its also possible others can see something about your body language you have yet to see. Most people go into shock after a death that allows them to do a great many things like run on auto pilot, once its worn off it an entirely different story -

Grief for me was & has been the most meaninful God test of my life. It raised my consciousness by pushing my ego aside to learn new lessons that helped me in my journey especially w/taking care of myself -

Also, there is a difference between mourning & grieving -

*Hugs* .

I am glad you are able to get things done, I was that way too in the beginning weeks. I think it's the fact they are in a better place and we continue doing what needs to be done. Don't be concerned, people want to help in their head they feel it's accepted as the thing to say.

You will grieve in your time and in your own way. That is the right way for you. Sharon

mel40......My relief came, when it was finlly over for him... the pain....My comment to people was... he was to be in more severe pain yet to come... And God said... Son, thats enough, I won't put you through anymore... and took hm home with him.....It made me feel better....I asked for him not to be embalmed, as no more cutting on him, but my kids said, yes to embalming....I now wish I had had an aultopsy....

I am seven months into widowerhood and I still run into people who are just finding out about my wife's death. And when they find out it's a shock. But they always have a story to tell about her and that makes her real to me again. My wife, for a better word, was a trip and loved all over the world. I was really fortunate to have her.

I am sorry for your loss. I was 46 and a caregiver to my husband when he passed away. I will admit that it does take a lot of energy to face this and do all the things that are necessary in the beginning. I'm just past two years and I look back now at all the people who offered sympathy and help as a great testiment to my husband as well as to me. I think we must have done something right in this life to have so many people who care so much. I was one of those people who took friends up on their offers to help if it was something that I needed. I now make sure that I offer assistance to family and friends if they are in need.

Nessie from KY