Your loss is so recent (like mine). I don't have your circumstance since my mother-in-law passed away years ago. However, if both you and she had the tradition of recognizing Mothers Day, then you might feel okay about continuing that. If you skip it, how will you feel about that -- especially if she sends a Mothers Day something your way? She is missing her son in a mother's way, so she might appreciate the gesture from you. Your kids also could benefit from their grandmother's love and support as the years move along. These are some considerations your heart will guide you through. May you be blessed with the best outcomes, which ever they might be.

Thanks for your reply. But know she won't send card my way. She all for his sister and her kids mine have always been left out. Had a time if it lately with her not pleased in my wording on his headstone and other things regarding the funeral where the tea had to be afterwards. But I did stand up to her which was hard as I was shaking and my heart was racing. You see my husband dad died 5 years ago she threw his ashes in the water middle of the clyde. Think she regrets it as she no where to go and visit. And wanted me to put his name on stone too. But I said no. I'm not being mean but she had 5 month to decide at the time. Same time I've had. My kids can't be bothered with her as they know she doesn't care about them.

Oh, I think I understand that family dynamic. Do what keeps your sanity stable. If she threatens that, then you and your children could become trapped in deep drama. Right now, hanging onto your sanity is the most vital duty you have to you and your children.

You are now left to take care of YOU and your kids. Do what makes you feel right or at peace with the situation, especially if she does not recognize your important role as Mother to her Son's children. I have the misfortune of living next door to my Mother In Law (my husband of 25 years killed himself on 2/11/17) and I will not be giving her another card ever and that is just for my own peace of mind. If my kids want to give her a card the 22 year old can do it himself and I will help my 13 year old if need be. You have to make yourself a priority so you can be both Mom and Dad for your kids and that is more important than anything else you do. My best wishes for you

Russlyn3 I thought I had it bad but that must be nightmare living next door. Her watching your every move. I have bought card. Just says on Mothering sunday. It be just from the kids maybe small bunch flowers. . As I have a mum of my own x

She's not your mom. However she was a mom to someone very important to you. I'd say wish her a happy mom's day. Remember she is suffering as you are. You both lost someone very important to both of you. You are both mothers. It's mothers day. Congratulate each other on being a mother. That in itself is a GREAT accomplishment!!!!

I am so sorry for your loss. Some things will stay the same, some things will be different. You get to do whatever and whenever you want. Had my wife's mother or father survived her, my son-ship with them would have remained. It's pretty much the rest of her family I pulled away from. In your case, you've both suffered the tragic loss of the same loving man, just different relationships and roles. Sounds to me like there will be no need to change anything in your relationship unless you, her or both of you want to change it. Plenty of time to cross that bridge if you ever have need. In the meantime, you both need each other's love right now. And because she is the grandmother, she most likely will remain a very important part of you and the children's life to whatever extent you allow it. ~~~ Scottie