I'm okay with Mother's Day. I tend to think of my mom instead of being a day about me. We usually have dinner at my daughters but no elaborate celebration. I don't know how the holiday began, but I do know the commercialization annoys me too. Sometimes I think that selling goods is the focus of all holidays and it's gone overboard. Don't get me wrong, I love shopping, but it's overdone to me. I seem to be rambling so I will leave it at that. Sharon

@ least y'all get flowers & jewelry. We get ties, soap on a rope, or power equipment to do more work with!!! ;0)

{{{HUGS}}}

We grieve the loss of our marriage in many ways -
Mother's Day, along with other special events, triggers memories of how good it use to be w/our beloved -
Facing it w/out him/her brings, once again, their death to the forefront,; reminds us of our loneliness, etc ...

I completely understand ...
It sucks ...
I felt the same way about my first V-Day w/out my Wildman -
It takes time to resolve our issues -
And it takes time to develop a new perspective ...

I chose to have the experience of birthing & raising kids -
I didn't do it for them, I did it for me & Bob -
For many moons, I've told Bob, dead or alive, to marvel with me when admiring our kids -
To be proud of our accomplishments & with creating a family of people decent human beings -
Those are the things that are important -

Buy yourself some flowers & go out to dinner ... ask a church member or friend to join you -
It's your day, make the most of it - *smile*

*As you tread on unfamiliar ground, please be kind, loving, patient & forgiving of yourself everyday of your life*

P.S. - My kids have already asked for money to buy me a Mother's Day present. Apparenly, using their own money is not on the list of things to do* LOL!

My husband and I are not into mother's day or father's day. My parents lived in Canada. He made sure that we visit them every year. He liked my family. I used to hate mother's day had to be spent with his mom who was not nice to us. They wouldn't invite me to mother's of father's day dinner if my husband was away on business trips yet we always include them in everything with our family. My husband was not happy how they could be so thoughtless towards me. My children are now mothers and for the most part they would remember to say happy mother's day and father's day and gave us cards. Now they make sure to include me on that day.

Mother's Day is the saddest holiday each year for me...my Mother died suddenly of a stroke on Mother's Day when I was 14...she was my only living parent at that time. No matter how many years pass, that day when I was orphaned will haunt me forever.

But I was blessed to marry into my husband's family, his parents would send me a very beautiful card each year with their own sweet loving words written in their language and English. They didn't even have the same type of Mother's Day in their homeland!

My two sons have always been very kind and loving, and make each day a blessing to me.

But I'm not into gifts or flowers, no need to spend money to show how much you care...just a card...those can be treasured and re-read forever.
Loving hugs to all...Mothers, Fathers, and Children of the world,
Nancy

I just wanted to add that even though it is nice & thoughtful for others, especially our children, to honor us -
There are times we just have to say f**k it, & do it ourself -

Please do ask a friend, other family or church member to join you on an outing -
In do this, you might find you are doing something special for someone who feels the same way -

I informed my kids (17 -38yo I will be playing volleyball with friends on Mother's Day so their lunch plans need to be changed to dinner. They frowned when I answered their question with "you're not invited"" ... Geez, oh Pete they each need to get a life! LOL!

Nancy, please accept my sincere sympathy in the loss of your mother years ago on Mother's Day. That must be very, very hard to deal with. A co-worker of ours years ago suffered the suicide of his wife on Mother's Day. It's been probably 40 or more years, but I will never forget that phone call on Mother's Day morning. We were still in bed, early just daylight when we received the news. Any death on a holiday makes it so very hard to celebrate. As with the death of our spouses, we can only convince ourselves to remember the happy times. Last year I found out that a dear uncle of mine had died, near 90 yrs old and it was on my birthday! I was horrified that I would always remember that, but I got a new perspective and now I consider my birthday the day Uncle B went to heaven. That makes me smile. I pray you can think of your mother in that way and that sweet memories will flood you mind and heart!

All my married life, my husband always said " your not my mother", and never got me a card, gift, etc. The kids did after they were grown.
Last year, out of the blue, he had my son get me a necklace with Love on it, (of course, I had to pay for it)...My shock, was, why, you never have in 46 years?....why now?......He said he just wanted too. Now I know why....

My Mom always refused to allow us to celebrate Mother's day due to the fact that she saw right through it as being a commercial gimmick! Therefore, we used to give her"love" presents - any time, but always at month end on payday! My whole family did that to each other, we all adored one another. Once I threatened to buy my dad a coloured shirt and he put up a mighty fight - only WHITE or blue shirts if you please. Well, just for a laugh I bought him a mint green shirt, and whenever it was washed he would be checking it on the line to see if he could have it back. He sheepisly admitted it was a favorite - after that, all colours were ok! Cept pink!

My best mother's day would be if my kids would spend some time with me. Last year it was a mother's day buffet and then off they went. I guess they don't get that all I want is some time with them.

My wife was never treated to anything special from her children on Mother's day, they too would rather be doing something else or didn't even realize it was mother's day. I don't think she ever received a mother's day card from them. Yet she was their mother, always keeping them close to her even though they simply did not show respect. I appreciate what a wonderful mother my wife was to her children, shame they never acknowledged it. Probably still won't.

I'm not sure how we will handle Mother's Day this year, since Laurie just passed in March and our 29th anniversary would have been on May 17th, that's going to be a tough week. When the kids were small I would buy the gifts that they could give to her. When they got older it was their responsibility, and I was also one of those who would say "Your not my mother", Oh to have her for one more Mothers Day. I would say you should treat yourself to something you like. I also agree how much I dislike all of the Mother's Day ads, but it's just another sign of how the world continues no matter how much pain were in.

God Bless.
Russ

Nancy - I also wanted to convey my sympathy for the loss of your mother. I will be thinking of you on that sad day. Mother's Day has also been a sad day for me since my mother died way too young in 1988. That has always overshadowed any celebrations of the day - it has always been more of a day of remembrance for me. I always felt that was more what I wanted the day to be for.So maybe it will just be the same this year. -Deb

Mother's Day is a mixed bag of emotions for me. Growing up, we always honored Momma on Mother's Day - Daddy was real clear about that. We would get her little things and Daddy always bought her a box of chocolates. Cliff thought it was a "Hallmark holiday" and I usually didn't get the kind of acknowledgment and appreciation I would have liked. The kids would do things, but it was usually because they knew from school or from their aunts that they should, and of course before our nothers died I would do something for them.

One thing I decided to do was I bought HIM flowers every year and gave HIM a card to thank him for making me a mother. Eventually he started doing the same for me on Father's Day. We have a different sapproach to a lot of things, but that way at least we did something positive about it.

Maybe buy your husband flowers and say thank you for the good years and good Mother's Days?

I have already celebrated Mother's Day - or Mothering Sunday as it is called in England - in March. It's a different day here in the UK. In a way, that has helped me let go of some of the heartache that Mother's Day brings for me. As you know, I have the other extreme - my sons are disabled, so I will likely never be an empty-nester. I wish I could be - not so much for me - I love my boys - but for them. I wish they could have a normal life. That ache never goes.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Martha, that is a good idea. I will buy flowers for me from Joe. He sure would do that for me every year. I know I was (and am still) a good mother. The flowers are just a reminder to me that maybe no one but God and I will think on these things, but they are true whether people acknowledge it or not.