Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I wonder, if we were posed wth the question of who had been the most influencial person in our lives, who would it be?
Several come to my mind immediately, the man who was my pastor from the time I was about 12 until I was 24 would have to be one of them. Not only did he preach the pure unadulterated word of God, but He taught me the importance of forgiveness and helped me to do it when it was the most difficult to do.
I was also influenced in smallways by several of my school teachers, one who was my teacher in 5th and 7th and 8th grades may have been instrumental in my love of reading, as we read aloud after lunch break every day, books like My Side of the Mountain. If I read it now I wonder if I would enjoy it half as much as I did then, but I know at that time it was terrific.
Another teacher taught us to crochet and make mosaic pictures from broken glass.
I also had a youth group leader and school bus driver who was either widowed or divorced, but she was influencial in that she befriended me and she did things that seemed out of the ordinary for women to do, (at least to me at that time) she built her own rock fireplace and chimney in her beautiful log cabin in the woods, and she gave me a book of quotes, as a graduation present. That may sound odd, but important things have been said by may influencial people and it is good to remember them.
Another person was my babysitter when I was little, she and her husband loved us dearly and continued to give us small Christmas gifts until they died. They loved me unconditionally and that is an important thing in anyones life.
And my father taught me that if you are going to do a job, you do it to the best of your ability, whether it is delivering newspapers or being the president of the United States.
Several come to my mind immediately, the man who was my pastor from the time I was about 12 until I was 24 would have to be one of them. Not only did he preach the pure unadulterated word of God, but He taught me the importance of forgiveness and helped me to do it when it was the most difficult to do.
I was also influenced in smallways by several of my school teachers, one who was my teacher in 5th and 7th and 8th grades may have been instrumental in my love of reading, as we read aloud after lunch break every day, books like My Side of the Mountain. If I read it now I wonder if I would enjoy it half as much as I did then, but I know at that time it was terrific.
Another teacher taught us to crochet and make mosaic pictures from broken glass.
I also had a youth group leader and school bus driver who was either widowed or divorced, but she was influencial in that she befriended me and she did things that seemed out of the ordinary for women to do, (at least to me at that time) she built her own rock fireplace and chimney in her beautiful log cabin in the woods, and she gave me a book of quotes, as a graduation present. That may sound odd, but important things have been said by may influencial people and it is good to remember them.
Another person was my babysitter when I was little, she and her husband loved us dearly and continued to give us small Christmas gifts until they died. They loved me unconditionally and that is an important thing in anyones life.
And my father taught me that if you are going to do a job, you do it to the best of your ability, whether it is delivering newspapers or being the president of the United States.
Of course my late husband was a very influencial person in my life as well! He broadened my horizons by sharing his life and his experiences with me, things I had never been exposed to before, and he LOVED me, like no one else had ever done. He loved me faithfully every day, he chose to love me, just as I chose to love him. And what more can a person ask for than pure sweet, honest love? The completely faithful and unconditional kind! that is pretty great I would say!
i learned i wanted to be a better person, for her
i wanted to laugh more, live more, love more, for her.
i learned that nature outweighs nurture, as she is totally her own person... way outside of what bob and i taught her.
most of all, she taught me the definition of unconditional love.... there is nothing more motivating or inspirational then that~
she is living breathing proof of the love between bob and i
hugs
judi
Stephen was a very driven, task oriented person. He never let himself give up on ANYTHING and he expected the same effort from the people he loved the most.
Over the 35 years we were together, he pushed me, sometimes very hard, to try my best to do a multitude of things. He never allowed me to use the fact that I was a woman to get out of doing anything.
Because of him I'm a much stronger, independent person than I would have been otherwise. I sometimes resented him for pushing so hard. But now that he's gone, I'm so grateful. Without his influence, I would not be coping with his loss as well as I am.
Whenever I am tempted to give in to grief or self pity, I remind myself that Stephen would be so disappointed if I were not strong. A lot of what I've done in the last 8 months have been out of respect for his memory and a never ending desire to earn his approval. Even with him gone, I still want to make him proud.
I heard a good one about pity partieds recemtly.
"I gave myself a pity party and nobody came, so I left too!"
Of course my parents. They focused on having a good education and just because I was a girl, I could be anything I wanted to be. Dad taught me to be myself and not follow the crowd. Just because someone else jumped off the bridge didn't mean I had to do it too. My mother taught independence, not to take BS from anyone, to be with a man because you wanted to, not because you needed to. And they also gave us a foundation of love, morals, standards, and religion.
Through these 3 people, my life has been truly enriched and blessed.