I have my 17 yr old dtr, my 22 year old son is moving back and my 24 yr old son stays here off and on with his girlfriend. My 22 year old is working part time and his car was just destroyed in a flood with no insurance. My 24 yr old won't give me a dime - which is a constant fight. I am going to try the gov't program and see what happens. I need to significantly reduce the mortgage to stay. Thanks for all the comments - they've helped.

THERE ARE ALOT OF COMMENTS I READ AND NEVER POST A REPLY BUT I HAD TO POST ON YOURS. PLEASE DO NOT TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY. YOU NEED TO TRY A LITTLE TOUGH LOVE - NO PAY - NO STAY. MY SON IS 26 AND THINKS JUST LIKE YOUR SON. I LOST MY HUSBAND MAY 2011 AND I TOLD MY SON AS NICE AS IT WOULD BE TO HAVE SOMEONE HERE TO TALK TO - LIFE OFFERS NO FREE RIDES - IF HE CAN NOT CONTRIBUTE TO THIS HOUSEHOLD THEN HE NEEDED TO GO FIND HIS OWN PLACE-HE DID AND THAT IS OK . I HAVE 5 CHILDREN AND MY SON IS THE ONLY ONE THAT WANTS TO LIVE WITHOUT BILLS. I KNOW WHEN IT IS MY TIME TO GO HIS SISTERS AREN'T GOING TO SUPPORT HIM AND I DO NOT BLAME THEM. ALSO I THINK IT IS SELFISH TO KNOW WHAT YOU RE GOING THROUGH AND NOT OFFER TO DO EVERYTHING HE CAN TO HELP YOU. YOU TAKE CARE AND I HOPE THINGS WORK OUT FOR YOU

I know the feeing of having a mortgage too high to handle alone!
My husband, had this house before we married. I wasn't on this mortgage. I didn't want to be. When he retired, we got accepted to the Home Affordable Modification Program. It was a long process, and very frustrating. Payments were lowered, but, there were many conditions.
Well,now that he is gone, they cancelled that, and added many penalty fees. Meanwhile, the house is now worth less than half of what is owed.
Neither of his kids want the house, and the payments. Long story shorter, after calling the bank numberous times, sending documents they requested, my only option is walking away.
Absolutely, no way that I could rent it and make the payments, not to mention, repairs, and maintenace.

From what I have heard, all home modification programs are different. There have been some great outcomes, and many nightmare stories. Read all the fine print.

Do a foreclosure search online, and find the Hope hotline 888 number. Not sure if I am allowed to post it here. They were a great help.

A neighbor brags that he hasn't payed his mortgage in over 2 years, and still lives in his house, and they haven't foreclosed yet.

Best of Luck,
((HUGS))
Debi

So sorry you have to go through this...it's hard enough to lose your spouse...this is just salt in the wound.

I don't know what the rental market is like where you are - but have you considered renting out your house and maybe renting something smaller for yourself? I'm thinking about doing this myself. I'm just getting tired of trying to take care of a big house all by myself.

Hope it all works out for you -
Hugs,
Stephanie

Mqould, let me tell you a true story: His parents took care of him until they died. Then his sisters took care of him until they died. Then his nephew took care of him until my uncle-- the subject of this story--passed away at the age of 93. As the baby brother, everybody always felt like he needed to be taken care of. He never learned how to get a real job, or pay rent, or buy clothes for himself. Everything was given to him. My uncle, actually my great uncle, came from a large family. He had 10 brothers and sisters to care for him. He lived rent free most of his life. He missed out on opportunities and life. He was always dependent on someone. When my grandmother passed, she passed this responsibility on to my father. And on it went. In the end, it was my great-uncle that was cheated.

I cannot even begin to say how fed up I am with my 24 yr old son. But - he is in therapy, has started on medication and I went to one counseling session too. The therapist said I should definitely not kick him out - but I'm not paying for anything else either. He is about as selfish as anyone can possibly be - refuses to pay even $25 for his cell - and he does have a job - so I'll probably just cut it off. He can drive more than an hour to Indiana several days a week but has zero money - he is a whole other problem - and a big one.

Mgould....your son has a job, then he needs to turn the knob...as in move out. Can'tpay for his cell phone...cut it off. I know 13 year old kids that do odd chores around the area to afford their phones. At 24, the idea of him having no money should not be our problem. He has to learn sometime and now would be really good. Sorry, but you have to get tough. He sounds like a spoiled brat.

Maggie

I am in the same situation as you. My home is up for sale and of course nothing is moving. My mortgage is over 2200.00 a month which has drained my savings. My husband died in 2007 and it has been a constant struggle. My family has been on my to downsize and sell but I tried to hold on to my home. I have 2 kids still at home my daughter works, pays for college but I pay her car ins and cell and she does not have any money left to help out. My son works and it is a struggle to get him to pay 200.00 a month. I pay his car ins and cell phone so that money is just for his bills alone. Throwing him out is not an option I won't do it. He is my son and he will mature in time. He does eventually give me the money he just hates taking it out of his bank. Stupid I know but he will do it, I just hate having to ask each month. I put over 100k in my home in upgrades and repairs only to find out I can't recover any of it. My house value decreased about 150k now I am just trying to get out with enough to find another place to live with my kids. The more people walk away the more it hurts the ones for sale. I know how bad it is but I am still not convinced walking away is the best thing. In my neighborhood the homes foreclosed and short sale have destroyed our property values. It is a bad situation all the way around. I can't say one way or another but I am trying my hardest to survive anyway I can. We are all in the same boat and it is a nightmare. I am a wreck worrying about this and each week brings another drama, a home repair, something breaks, need money for something bills bills bills does it ever end. I wish you luck and if you find a solution let me know what it is maybe we will all benefit. Good luck to you.