Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

Mornings

jerseydebbie
jerseydebbie
I woke up this morning with a disturbing feeling that I was not wanted or needed, or had a purpose in life.

It literally scared me for I am still a wife, a sister, an aunt, etc. There are people who depend on me at work and I run bus trips for my church to raise much needed funds. At this stage of my life I feel I have more of a purpose than being someone's companion, girlfriend or wife, which I'm not interested in.

I'm also a pen pal to a 4th grader at the local school.

My husband has been gone 2-1/2 years and I am in counseling and also on antidepressants.

Anyone else feel like this, or have any suggestions?

I have a counseling appointment tomorrow and this topic is high on my list.

Thanks.
yellowrose3
yellowrose3
Debbie, I know how you are feeling. I wake up every morning feeling like this. I have two grown children, grandchildre. They have their own lives. I have my family, and my husbands. but nothing fits me anymore. I also go to counceling, and on antidepressants. At my last Dr. appt. which was on the 1 year date of my husbands passing. I told him how I was feeling. He says, "This was anticipated". What the heck was that supposed to mean, and why didn't he inform me on what to anticipate. I get afraid sometimes to tell him exactly how I'm feeling. one time I opened my mouth to much and ended up in the hospital. so now I come here and say what I need to.
I try to find things sometimes that makes me feel needed, or even wanted. I have just recently rescued two kittens, that were in pretty bad shape, so it help some to take care of something, and they sure show their love for me back. I do understand how you are feeling. Many hugs to you: Donna
kdbcomputer
kdbcomputer
Just all the time. Nothing prepares you to have your world turned upside down. My life was focused on "us" Now it has to be "me" I was good and doing us. I don't know how to do me!

((((HUGS))))
Karl
deleted_user
deleted_user
I've had those feelings a lot lately. I feel like there is really no one who really needs me or really wants me---three of my kids have been great to be there--but I can't help but feel like it's because they feel obligated, not because they really want to be around me. I guess if I'm going to be honest I would have to say I'm not much fun to be around so maybe it's justified. I just wish I could see a real purpose for me still being here.
jerseydebbie
jerseydebbie
Wow, and I thought it was just me. Donna, I also rescued a cat two years ago and she is my joy. Makes the house a "home" again. And, I too was in the hospital, so don't feel bad.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I felt a little like that for a while. My kids are grown also. However there are the grandkids, and my parents. Plus, grown kids need their parents too. I have settled into my new role as sole parent, instead of team member. I have come to realize that there are truly no guarantees in life. I know I don't have to tell you this, you know it first hand.
radioworld
radioworld
I hate mornings, I hate them because they are lonely, they are a reminder of another day without my husband...
Every morning I feel just as you, I feel lost and with out a purpose, and as you, I am an Aunt a sister a daughter and a friend, but no longer a wife. I don't know what will make me feel with purpose, I await with hope for the moment I fell this way again,
And so I push my self and get out of bed and hope that today is a day closer to a sense of purpose, I hug my mom more, I kiss my nieces more and I make sure I tell everyone I love them.