(((((Holland))))) I, too, dream about my fellas that left me too soon...almost every night (how blessed I am!). I find that even the quiet dreams, like yours, should be savored and remembered when times get rough. This is just another way of your precious wife telling you that she is still with you and always will be, no matter what goes on from here.

As to your 'slipping' in your daily life, I will have been at this for a year and three months on the 22nd and although I'm finding that things are starting (slowly and gently) to fall into place, I still have myriad days when there is nothing to show. Times when I hate like hell to get out and drive the 10 miles to town for grub. Times, lately, when I go back to bed after letting the dog out for her morning duties and end up not getting up until 8AM or 9AM, which is not what I used to do!

My point is that we must just "hang in there, baby" for a little while longer...a month longer...a week, a day, an hour longer and another baby step will bring us closer to our "new normal" life without our loves. Don't try too hard to "turn this around", honey. It will all happen in its own sweet time. Some take only a few months...some (I've noticed on here) take years and are still stumbling across those baby steps. Be gentle with yourself. YOU are what is important now...you were left here for a reason, as was I and so many others like us. We may not have anything more earth-shaking to do but to go on and make our loved ones who have passed proud of us. It has to be enough. You will go to her one day as I will go to my guys and you want to go proud. Hope some of this helped...

Marilyn

Marilyn, what a beautiful response, filled with truth and love . Holland, it is a process in building your wife and another process to build the future without her. You have suffered a major loss and the healing can't be rushed. Like major surgery, your heart and soul has been cut deeply. It feels like life ended on the day they die, but it hasn't really. It's forever changed though but the pieces can be rebuilt taking the lessons you've experienced along the way.

I don't know how spiritual you are, but your dreams are for your comfort and for you to ponder. I believe they are to let you know she loves you still and that will never end, only multiply. Let her spirit comfort and support you. She wants you to be happy.

I am here for you and support is how we all grow. Hugs, Sharon

I have dreamt of my love only once and she told me that she was ok and to not worry about her. I believe she was reaching out to me. It has only been 12 weeks for me that I lost her. It still seems unreal to me. I found that going back to work and keeping busy has helped me. Just today I started to go through her things and believe me it wasnt easy. I could only do it for about an hour, but I guess baby steps are ok. Take care, come here often. The people here are great and know what you are going through, they have helped me a lot.

At so many points in my life I have had dreams come true. So when I dream of my loved ones who have passed that come with messages, I pay attention. It may be as simple as saying a prayer for them or lighting a candle.

In my humble opinion, I believe that our loved ones are still around us after they have passed and do try to send us love, support and guidance. Even though our grief causes us so much pain and we still long for them, we need to try to accept their passing with love, strength and dignity. By doing so, their souls can move on to the peace that is known as "heaven" and I honestly feel that we will all see one another again some day!

Bless us all as we struggle with this pain, and all be filled with the power of love.

Oh the priceless dreams...they an be everything as they are the closest we can really get to our loved ones now. I cherish every one of them and wake up so verythankful to have had them. Sometimes he is just standing over to the side in my dreams and sometimes he is active in them but he has yet to speak. That would be terrific to hear his voice. The other night I had the best one of all thus far, I have been missing his ((HUGS)) so much and in my dream he just walked over and hugged me and held me so tight. It was so real and so wonderful. In a few days he will have been gone 13 months! There is not a day goes by that there are not tears...I am still struggling through each day. I understand what you say about days being non-productive. I know its wrong but just can't get motivated. I look at every day as one day closer to being with him again. He was 69 and we were just getting ready for "OUR" time...retirement. While we had a wonderful 48+ years and raised a beautiful family .......this wasn't suppose to happen!!! Famous last words , right? I pray for all of us , for strength to find our way and peace of mind. Love to all of you Sherbear2