Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Mixed feelings

anacarolinafilipe
anacarolinafilipe
Hi guys. It's been 3 weeks today and i feel like i am experiencing mixed feelings about the hole things. There are days when i feel the most miserable person in the world and can't seem to stop crying and am sad all the time. But then there are times when even though i am perfectly aware of what happend, i'm kinda off ok ... like this weekend some work colleagues arranged a night and despite sometimes getting the blues and i was able to enjoy myself somewhat.

i dont know, maybe its too early, maybe my feelings are tolded because i?m leaving in a few weeks or maybe becaue i know that at last he has found peace and does not suffer anymore.
Some things though as painful as since he passed....listening to music is a sad experience, every song reminds me of him, cooking feels useful without someone to cook for...

It all feels like a huge mess in my mind!!!
Sorry, just fellt. like sharing a bit. try to clear the mind a bit.

hugs to all
Ana
edgard
edgard
Hi there, Im new here, so Im trying to find an entry that can describe what Im going trough right now...I understand exactly how you feel Ana, Im having the same mixed feelings about my thing...my wifes gone for a little more than 4 months now and some days I feel like I'm doing fine, that everything is somehow better, that Im strong enough to raise our children...some other days is completely the opposite...sadness and loneliness are with me all the time...lots of tears and cant find no comfort...no peace, nothing. Also feel a big big mess in my mind and my heart as well...hope someday we will be able to overcome this terrible loss.
Hugs.-
Community LeaderShrn
Shrn
We often describe grieving like being on a roller coaster. The emotions frequently come in waves. What you're describing is normal. In the beginning of dealing with the loss we often have times where breathing is difficult followed by an okay period. The mind can't accept what has happened. I remember coming home to an OMG feeling or waking up to where is he. Then the reality hits.

I'm glad you joined our group and will visit with us often. Sharon
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ana, you have nothing to be sorry about. Your feelings aren't right or wrong, they just are. And, they mirror what most of us are feeling.

I have some days when my head is so foggy, I don't how I'll be able to have a complete thought! It's so weird and bizarre how our tearful journey can rule our brains.

I can't always put aside my sadness and bleak look at the world to carry on a "normal" day. I find myself going deep into the loneliness and reality of the loss that I've experienced and it seems as if I will NEVER come out from under it!

Briefly, ever so briefly I find a smile, a laughter, a piece of joy and then find myself get guilt ridden for feeling it!

We will come out of this, we will!

Warmly,
Roz
edgard
edgard
Thanks for your words Sharon. A rollercoaster is the right word to describe this nightmare of ups and downs...in my case I also have to deal with my childrens grief...they are 8, 11 and 16...two boys and a beautiful young lady. They are my motivation to continue struggling in life.