I lost my first husband when I was 37. I can tell you it does get easier to bear. You find something to hold on to or for. It's different for everyone. I to found after the first month everyone wants you to start moving on. What they don't have the advise for it to what. If you can find new habits and new places to go for me that helped. Be cautious as you start to branch out protect yourself there are some people that feel good at first but really don't help you with your growth forward. Your doing the right thing reaching out.....even if just on line. I wish you well. You are not alone.

Thank you

I was just thinking the same thing. People were around me almost the whole time for the first few weeks. And now here I sit alone. Watching the dog, hugging the urn. I'm sure the weather is not helping the pouring rain only aids the sadness. I don't have any advise. I feel the same as you. People have said let me k ow if you need anything, but reaching out is really the last thing I feel like doing. So I guess so you know your not alone.

I'm sorry. I think I'm feeling that a bit too. For me I feel like it's time to give the counselor a call, so I'm going to try to do that tomorrow.

I have definitely found counselling to be of a huge benefit. I have only had two chats (both telephone) and one visit from one but they have helped me realise (1) I am perfectly normal in the way i grieve and (2) I am not alone in this. I shall try a group counselling session too. I have a couple of fantastic friends who touch base every day but many more who think I must be okay now as I do go out for meals etc! What do they know really? You have to walk in these shoes to understand it. Take care and talk online as much as you want/need to xx

Im sorry for your loss.Be strong and live one day at a time.
May God bless you and give you comfort that you needed especially at this times.

Yes, it is true that people are usually there in the beginning, but as time moves on, so do they. It is to be expected, really................the loss was not as great to most of them as it was to us. That is why groups like this one exist, I think, and I am sorry you had to find us but glad that you did. I lost my husband to cancer nearly five months ago and I think it does get better over time, although there are still days when you couldn't prove it by me! I hope that this site offers some hope/comfort/peace. Sylvia

I lost my husband 3-1/2 weeks ago and I would of never imagined I would be a widow and with a 21 month old. He was diagnosed exactly 3 months from when he died. I cry all the time and like you said everyone moves on with their lives and we're still stuck with this horrible emptiness of not having them.

One day at time I loss my husband to cancer 4 months ago...it will become more bearable, you will have your meltdown times, but it will ease. This website is great to just let it all go, I know I do
Blessinga to you on your journey through real grief
Ty

Sounds like me, a little over 8 years ago!!! Eat, drink, go through the motions of life. Most importantly is to take care of yourself. About the time you're @ right now, with the loss of your wife, I lost my mom too!!! ( I lost 5 people in '08, along w/ recovering from cancer ) I lost a lot of weight & developed pneumonia from not taking care of myself. Make friends on here. Go back & read old posts from the people you like & take your time with this process. try not to make any major decisions during this 'Year of firsts'. Don't be afraid to laugh or cry maniacally @ times. Take your time finding your 'new normal'. I used to hate it when people would tell me, "It'll get better!!!", but it will!!!!! Welcome to the club that no one wants to be a member of!

Are there activities you had to curtail due to the cancer that your wife had? Check your local hospital, they may have a support group or a church. It takes time to adjust to the change in our journey.
jdp