Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
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Miss my guy

Ellebelle
Ellebelle

Hello this is my first post. In December of 2016 i lost my true love of a lifetime. I feel like it's unbearable and I just want him to come home again so I can be happy  I go on because of my daughter and my cats. I was so numb at first and now I'm in tremendous pain  I miss laying on his chest and the way he made me feel when I walked into the room. So many people want me to move on and get it together and believe me some days I'm doing pretty well but I'll never find a love like ours nor do I want to.  I'm so glad I decided to read you guys post because I know you all understand like no one else can. I do smile at memories and feel joy knowing how real our love was. Trying to hold it together and find a job,be a good mom, exercise, drink water and sleep when it's possible. 

SandyZal
SandyZal
I lost my husband in March. He was everything to me. At first I was just numb to everything. I'm doing better, but I still cry every day. I hear that all the time, "That era of your life in gone. You need to move on. It takes time. Be good to yourself." The truth is when I lost him I lost everything. We lived way out in the country and I didn't want to stay there by myself because it's too remote and we had a lot of land that I could not maintain. I lost my house, my job, my husband, and all my precious animals. It's very difficult to "move on" from that. I have absolutely no idea what it means to be good to myself. It just feels like there is so much loss right now that being good to myself is impossible. I, like you, are trying to hold it together, but it's very difficult. Without the Lord I don't think I could do it.
Ellebelle
Ellebelle
Sandyzal thanks for your reply. I'm so sorry for all that you have lost. It is so hard to be stuck here on earth having to go on without the one person we hoped to grow old with. I am grateful for my life and want to be here for my daughter but some days I'm asking God how do you expect me to live without my guy. I know there's no choice and we have to go on. Big hugs to you and best wishes for some good moments
scottito
scottito
What those outside this grief club can't fathom is that not a one of us has any desire to "move on". Moving on is impossible for us. Best we can hope for is moving forward, but only when we are better. And that takes a long time. This is a healing process unlike any other. Your daughter needs you. Never lose sight of that. Between her and your cats, you have all all the purpose you need right now. Take your time to heal. This is not a race. This is survival. Perhaps I'm cutting a fine line here, but moving on implies leaving something or someone behind. We are incapable of doing that, not when you lived the love we all had. Something I will never want to let go of. Remember, memories that cause you so much pain now will someday bring a smile and a twinkle in your eye. Cherish your memories of your life together. It wouldn't hurt so bad if it wasn't so great. ~~~ Scottie
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