Widows & Widowers Support Group

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Milestones too close together

geminii74
geminii74
Hi all,

It's hard to think that in a matter of a few days, I'll be dealing with several firsts in a short time span. My husband and I shared birthdays within 3 days of each other, and next week he would have turned 40 had he lived.

This will also be the first Father's Day that my boys and I will have without him, and it really hurts just thinking about it. It will also be 10 months since he passed on the 7th, and I'm just trying to see how to process this all at one time.

It just makes me sad to think that what he wanted was a big celebration for his 40th, but now I'm having to remember him vs celebrate with him.

It just doesn't seem fair that he had to go so early. I'm sorry for rambling, I just miss my husband and the family unit that we were.

Geminii74
tlsom
tlsom
There is no apology needed and you were not rambling I completely understand I lost my husband when he was 42 just 19 days before my 40th birthday. In the first 6 months I had my birthday, our wedding anniversary, his birthday the first time that we had our date and all the holidays so I understand by having so much so close together. I am nearing the one year mark on June 22nd and the pain is still so deep. I miss my love so very much but I have to try to find a way to get through that day and to look at it is somewhat positive manner. So I am choosing to look at it as his heavenly birthday rather than the anniversary of his earthly death and I will be releasing a happy birthday balloon at His grave on that day. I am truly sorry for your loss please know that we are here and we understand. God bless.
SandyV1
SandyV1
I'm sad that it is such a tough time for you. You're right - it isn't fair.
Sandy
darjar0
darjar0
No apology necessary . I lost my honey last Dec right before Christmas and our 11th anniversary. I'm not looking forward to this Fall ...his b-day, my b-day and then all the holidays and just everything. Even my dogs b-day is a week before what would have been his 44th . I don't know how I will be. I hope I'm healed enough to withstand the onslaught .
I'm sorry you have to deal with this...it's hard...for all of us. You are not alone . there's alot of help here
hugs,
Nancy
marysch
marysch
I'm so sorry, Geminii. It is so difficult, I know. I'm coming up,on a year in July and I just can't believe it. For you and your husband...so young. It just isn't fair. I love the idea about the balloon from tlsom. In this community we are all connected , so don't ever feel alone...Mary
Newlife44
Newlife44
You are not alone gemini. I can identify with the milestones. My husband turned 66 last May. We celebrated his birthday and his retirement, then September 3rd 2013 Jesus called him home. The holidays came quickly after. February 2014 was Valentines' Day; March my birthday, May his birthday, June Father's Day, July would have been our 17th anniversary and then September again. Almost every month a constant reminder that he isn't on the earth anymore and that I am missing him so very much. I am very sorry for you and your boys' loss. I am not sure how to get through it because I am still struggling. Praying for your comfort and peace. Many people on here have gotten through the loss of their spouse and I believe that we will too.
ohsolost
ohsolost
On my husband's first birthday after his death, I came on here and asked everyone for their help to pass the day. No words can ever describe the gratitude I still hold for all the outpouring of prayers, kindness and support I received.

Some days we contribute to the well; others, we take from it.

We're here when you need us...

Hugs,

Terry
jemf
jemf
It is not fair. It's just completely sad that you are dealing with this loss. Your husband was so young. I wish we all had something to say that could fix your pain, but we can say we have some understanding of the depth of your loss and how it impacts you. For now, try not to look too far into the future. You just have to get through today. Eventually, looking toward tomorrow gets easier.