.....but, if you're out for only one date, go ahead. (posted before I was finished.)

To expand on what I posted earlier, if a woman had her ring(s) on "the" finger, and I knew that she was a widow, then I would think that she still considered herself to be married and that she wants everyone to know that. And I respect that, but if this is true, what is she doing out, (however innocently) with me? If I'm wrong Ladies, feel free to straighten me out.:)

It wouldn't bother me at all. I would get the message - friendship, not romance. And that would be fine.
I (am and) would be wearing mine. Same message.
I think maybe only W&W would truly understand ...

Didn't bother me at all when I went out with another widow, we were just friends and I was still wearing my band also. One point, at a restaurant where we were having a nice lunch and were laughing about something our (adult) kids had done. The waitress came by to see if we needed anything else and inquired how long have you two been married?, I guess both of our ringed hands were out on the table. It was little awkward as I found out saying Oh, were not married sounds very odd.

I am dating now and have taken my wedding band off, I still wear Dianas bear pendant on a chain and I likely always will.

Do what feels right to you and best of luck.

-Pete-

I had this problem also when I dated. (I've only dated one man for a few months)

I did not want to be confused as HIS wife if I had my rings on. And I didn't want anyone to think he was with a "married" woman if they knew him. So I took my rings off. I would wear them on and off during that time but not when I was with him.

I don't date now, and I wear my rings when I want or I don't wear them. Mostly it depends on what I'm doing - working hard - my rings are off, going out, - they are on. The point is - you are the boss. It's all up to you. What works for one person may not for someone else.

My rings are beautiful and I love wearing them. My husband loved buying them for me, it was a very special time for both of us because they are not my original set. He gave them to me "again". Wearing them reminds me of his love for me.

Jerry always said in a mocking way that his wedding band was his ''Vulcan Shield'' - I always told him not to worry - he didn't NEED one on, to have the ladies stay away from him - ha ha ha. He had many dinners/lunches with women, as I had them with men on business, through our married life. Having a nice meal is enjoyment - not a commitment! Seriously, just pass the bread and have fun!! I would do what you feel is right , and comfortable, and not worry about what they, or anyone else would think. The memories of our husbands aren't going to go away any time soon, and the right man will know and accept this , and understand that if and when the time comes to get serious. If all else fails, have the topic as dinner conversation!!! Good luck - glad you are venturing out - it's hard figuring all this out I know. Best regards, Vicki

Thank you, everyone who responded. My husband and I always had friends of the opposite gender at work and would go out to lunch with them occasionally and neither of us minded. So the thought of me sitting at lunch with a coworker (or friend that I met through a dating site) and my wearing my rings doesn't seem like any big deal at all. Although all I want is friendship, if it became a very good friendship and we became affectionate (with a possible future, which is unfathomable to me now), I would then remove my rings. Above all, the advice I liked was to be myself and do what I feel comfortable with.

We've had loads of discussions around wedding rings, when and how to wear them or remove them, etc. The decision is always up to the individual widow/widower, and the etiquette gurus say so as well.

That being said, to me, if you are wearing your wedding ring on your left hand, then you still consider yourself married. When you go out with someone, you are still giving the impression that you are married.

I loved my rings, but eventually I faced my new reality and moved mine from the left hand to the right hand. That showed my status as a widow but with an obvious message that I was not ready for a new relationship. There is some dispute about what moving the rings means, too, I know, but my rings were very obvious and that's how it worked for me. Perhaps also because I am not the flirty type - I don't send mixed signals.

Some guys will respect your "friendship only" stance and some guys will try to for more - rings or not - and married or not - so do what you are truly comfortable with.

I hope you make some good friends who will respect your wishes and that you will be able to find some joy in your life again.

Love and Hugs, Martha

I would caution you very STRONGLY about those websites. I have tried several different ones mostly all "christian" ones, and 97% of the guys I communicated with were scammers. I know this because I got scammed out of $1400 by one of them so I became educated about them, and ran into MANY more of them. PLEASE be very careful, they can say ANYTHING via a computer, it does NOT make it true, and they are VERY good at what they do. I thought that I was smart enough to be immune to it but they got me.