Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Nicker07 05/25/2011

I do believe it was first set up to memorialize those who died in our Nation's service. I grew up placing flowers on all of my families loved ones that had gone on before us.

Does everyone here plan on going to place flowers etc at their loved ones gravesite or place of rest?

I just do not feel like it, I just am going to ignore it. Seriously do not feel like it at all. Course its raining cats and dogs and everything in between so where his ashes were spread is not accessible but still I do not feel like its something I want to do if I could. I can not explain why but I just am so NO WAY. I think I will someday some year but just not this year.
Am I being selfish, dishonorable, or ??? I honestly do not understand why i feel this way but....

tpoulos 05/25/2011

I am from South Dakota and we always went to the grave sites and
placed flowers on our families places of rest... I will be out of town so
no I won't be doing it.... thought about it today before I left...I live behind a mountain and my husband Jim ran and walked the dogs
everyday back there , even when he came home from 8 hours of
Chemo , he was such an inspiration and so wanted to live... I sit
every morning with my coffee and feel him closer here than at the
cemetary .... no you are not being selfish ...I think we all need to do
what is in our heart ....peace to you

deleted_user 05/25/2011

First, Frank passed away on Memorial Day last year. I am trying my best to not get too anxious as the weekend approaches. I do not think that I will ever view this holiday again with a sense of happiness. It will always be when he passed away for me.

I am from the the south and we used to call it Decoration Day! I can remember that when I was in elementary school and I am only 50. OUr town also had a parade each year on Memeorial Day with flags flying everywhere. They no longer do that.

doyew 05/26/2011

Someday you will feel like it. Until then - just remember all the good days you had with him.
Doye

michaelbmanning 05/26/2011

As I understand, this is to honor those that served in the military. I live in a very historical area of up-state NY and there is a national military cemetery clsoe by. I will not take flowers to Mike's grave because he did not serve. Personally, I like to see the day go to those it was intended for.

Maggie

rene4ever 05/26/2011

Memorial Day is a day to honor our military. However in my family we always visited the gravesite of lost ones.

I already placed flowers on Rene's gravesite and do for every holiday that comes up. Red white and blue daisies.
Peace to you
Dave

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