Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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MissinLilBear 03/20/2011

There were 128 responses to the survey. I had hoped to be able to cross-reference the answers by age and gender but you don't get that feature with a free account :-(

There were also a couple of email responses about what should have been a 6th question "I plan on dating but not getting married".

Thanks to all who participated.

The results:

44.0% - No, I still feel married (or I have no desire or ???)
35.0% - Maybe, but I'm not going looking (they'll have to find me)
14.0% - I hope, I plan on dating and looking for a new spouse
4.0% -- Yes, I will find a new spouse
3.0% -- I am already re-married

84.0% - Female
16.0% - Male

7.0% - Under 45
45.0% - 46 to 55
44.0% - 56 to 65
4.0% - Over 66

cliffskat 03/21/2011

Thanks Pete. I think one other question would have been helpful, and that is "How long have you been widowed/widowered?" What I have observed is that the answer changes over time for a lot of folks. I have had a number of DS friends that were in the "never" category in the beginning who over time - whether by effort or God's surprises - have gone into new relationships. Many who do enter into new relationships leave DS, or only return occasionally.

I think it does help to know that whatever category you think you are in at the moment that there are others who feel the same.

Love and Hugs, Martha

deleted_user 03/21/2011

As a fun response I will. share what my mother replied to lawyer when asked this question after my father passed away!

"I am not ruling out one staying for breakfast. But, they are not moving in or marrying".

I at the time was aghast she had said this.....the thought my mother might have one "stay for breakfast".

laurabp 03/21/2011

Thank you for doing this survey and giving us the results. It is quite enlightening. laurabp

kdbcomputer 03/21/2011

That sounds pretty accurate. Thanks for offering the survey. It is nice to see that how I feel is not so out of normal, if any of this can ever be considered normal. I suppose it is more of normal now LOL

Karl

jerseydebbie 03/21/2011

Thank you for posting the results.

My mother always had a saying too. It was that as much as she loved my father, with all her heart, if anything should happen to him there would be no other man's shoes under her bed.

michaelbmanning 03/21/2011

This was very enlightening. There are many here that say "never say never". I would not even consider. I would question the sanity of any man..especlally my age, that would want to walk into a large ready made family. I will not allow another man into the business Mike and I worked out butts off to build, nor will I allow another man near my children. They will not become daddy.

bostonjules 03/22/2011

I think that the heart is a mysterious organ, and I'd like to poll the same people in 5 years and 10 years. God and the universe put amazing people in our paths - some will love again, and some will continue to love the one they loved and lost.

I just wish joy and love for all of us. The uncertainty of life is what makes it all interesting. Thx for thinking of the poll and sharing the results.

Justjules
52, and looking forward to incorporating the feelings of my old love to a new love.

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