What you're feeling is normal. Our first instinct is to want to be alone, hide, or whatever word you use to describe this feeling. Eventually you will want to push yourself to enter life again, but when is a personal decision.
On the plus side of going:
they are probably being concerned about how you are.
They are also hurting from their loss
They may feel this is a way to help both you & them
You are free to leave when you want.
On the negative side:
It could be a hard thing for you or too soon
It could be upsetting (isn't everything these days?)
You decide what is best for You right now. Don't do it unless you feel you will benefit from taking this step now. Hugs, Sharon

A bit a question of "face the music and dance". It is good that you are going out a bit. As you said, we have to step out sometime. I feel sure his family will make an effort to be kind to you. Since it is not a formal do, you do not have to remain a long time, if you feel too unhappy or uncomfortable, make your excuses and leave. People will understand.

As for the cooking, that might have been a step too far. Just make something simple, easy and foolproof and don't worry about it, you surely don't have to deliver a cordon bleu dish. Keep it simple.

I have had to do flee in a hurry a few times. When I commit myself to something, I always plan an escape route. Your dog will be a support to you. It is the first steps that are difficult.

Try to relax and be yourself, you will be alright. Best wishes.

My husband passed March 24, 2013. I think that this another step in the right direction! Taking the dog with you! Why didn't I think of that???? My enlaws haven't had much to do with me or my kids either since Mike died. I don't understand it. At first I was hurt, but I have been to my MIL and BIL since the funeral and they are cordial and still care about us. They just don't call as often as they used to. Maybe because nobody had cancer. And I'm pretty sure we all are grieving. I hope you have a good time. And yes, keep it simple. And leave when you are ready. Also, don't feel bad if you wind up not taking anything to eat. Life is too short to live with guilt.

I too have started to accept invites from family and friends, and I haven't found them too hard because they are with people that care about me. I am going to a tailgate party this Sunday with my sister-in-laws and their families and I know it will be a little hard but I enjoy their company and I'll be OK. The following weekend a former co-worker is having a party and this is the group that my wife and I did things with. So while I expect it to be hard at times I also enjoy their company and know they care about me. I know I can't go back, I don't want to stay where I am, which leaves only trying to move forward. I know it's hard and I miss my wife so much everyday, but somehow we need to start living again. I have had plenty of back sliding so I don't say this as someone who has made it yet. And I know there will be plenty of tears yet, but that's OK, it was worth it for the love I had.

God's Blessings

Russ

bring a dish, run to grocery store and buy a tub of potato salad. they didn't say you had to make it, just bring a dish.

I went to a 4th of July party, my son had. I enjoyed it. His friends and neighbors were there. I left early, so they could enjoy their party, played ball with the kids. But wasn't near as bad as I thought it would be.

I so remember some of those same thoughts and anxieties. At first I remember feeling out of place as the last time I was part of a couple, but each time it seemed to get better...So take it easy and deal with what ever feelings that come up, one step first
Hugs

When I was at about the 4 month mark I went to a work retirement party. My first attempt back into the real world. I gave myself permission to just be and try and enjoy the moment. I lasted about 2 hours and went home exhausted but was glad I tried. My first family get together was a little more challenging because there my wife would have definitely been. I lasted through lunch and gravitated towards relatives I was the most comfortable with and avoided the others These are all baby steps and a totally normal part of the process. Best of luck. Gerald..

We all have the same fears to face,it helps me greatly to read all your posts,sometimes it feels that I will never belong anywhere ever again.We really have to push ourselves to continue to live a"normal" life again for ourselves and extended families,I believe that they are watching us to know how they should be reacting.So go out there and just be you.xx

My advice would be to go and get yourself back out there. I lost my mother last summer and a girl I worked with told me not to hide away as she did when her father died and when she got back I to the real world after 6 months found she had panic attacks. I took her advice then and my fianc made me get out and about. Them when he died suddenly this April, I forced myself to go things with friends and family after just a few weeks. I know he didn't want me sat around at home miserable when my mum died and he certainly wouldn't have wanted it after he died. Although I have never enjoyed anything since he died, I do find comfort knowing I have good friends and family around me and haven't left me sat at home miserable. I keep thinking if I just keep going one day I might enjoy myself again but if I don't at least I know that I've spent time with my nearest and dearest. X

Thank you all for your kind words...I survived both Friday & Saturday...I was noticeably quiet and really unsure where I fit in...having my dog there really helped me, basically by distracting me and everyone else (and apparently it is rude to feed her at the table-oops, but that is how we live now)...I made a "simple" salad that made me arrive 2 hrs late on Saturday...It was really just a Caesar salad, w/bacon & rigatoni noodles in it, I made it once before, and Norm told me it was the stupidest thing he ever heard of, lettuce & noodles are a "different" combination...I managed to make it thru a few hours both Friday & Saturday...after I left on Saturday, me & Norm's boys stopped at one of Norms friends houses...I think the boys went with me because they knew I was out of my element...we stayed there for a couple hours, he was watching a movie...it was kind of weird, yet seemed sorta of relaxing to me...I have not watched TV with anyone since Norm left...I realized how much I miss those simple little things...even the dog seemed relaxed (could have been because there were so many little kids trying to pet her at his family's house that it may have worn her out)...Sunday I had SO much to do, cut the grass, laundry, grocery shopping-I thought I had this one down...well I did all that I needed to do, yet I cried most of the day...I hate Sundays!!! even when he was sick I would find myself sobbing on Sundays...Somehow I did good the last few weeks, but yesterday it hit - hard...I think it was just emotional exhaustion from the weekend...my dog stayed by my side as I broke down many times thru out the day...So here I am....Monday...back at work, and hopefully back to some sort of routine for the next 5 days...My eyes are still puffy from yesterday, but I made it here, even though I REALLY wanted to call in sick today (not an option because we have had 2 people leave and one is on vacation)...
Oh - by the way - Why cant I log into DS from my home computer??? I tried & tried all weekend, but the site wont open??? If anyone has any suggestions of what I need to do, please feel to e-mail me at annratliff@yahoo.com.
Thanks again to you all for your kindness....

It is such a gigantic step towards peace. I'm glad you shared your weekend with us. I'm also glad the boys went with you. I have a hard time being around my husbands friends, because that was our common bond. I'm still not used to or comfortable talking with them about anything but my husband. (We both know how the weather is.) so, yay for you! You did good! And it sounds like you got all of your chores done this weekend as well!