Dear Pam, do whatever makes you feel better. This is going to be hard, but you will get through it. We are all here for you. I still sleep with my husbands beanie hat. His ashes sit right on my dresser, I kiss him in the morning, talk to him etc.. nothing bad about enjoying having that last little part of him. Much love and big hugs carla

Thank you so much for the kind words. It's good to hear that there are others like me. Love to you Carla.

I remember that fog. It is there for a reason- it is helping you cope and do the things you need to do. These are the most important things to remember right there are only three: 1) stay hydrated- if you are like me- you'll be thirsty and that will help you to remember; 2) remember to eat- and this may be harder- you might not feel hungry at all at first- and the thought of eating might not seem appealing- but find something you can stomach. Even if it means snacking six times a day instead of eating three large meals- get some nutrients. 3) Do what you need to do to sleep. It may be hard- but your body must have rest.

The people here are wonderful and will give you great support.

My thoughts and prayers are with you. May you find peace.

Pam the best advice I have gotten is, do what makes you feel better. It has been just short of two months for me. Today I put marshmallows and chocolate chips in a cup nuked them and had it for lunch. If it works for you it's fine.

The last line you wrote says it all. You can't think further ahead right now and you shouldn't try to. It's been seven months now and I still try not to take on anymore than the day I'm in. Tomorrow will take care of itself. What ever you need to do for you right now is all to worry about. The best thing that happened to me was being lead to this site. I truly don't know where I would have gotten this type or genuine realistic support that I have gotten here from all these folks. Between this and my faith I have gotten this far and I have faith you will also, it will just be a rough trail to ride right now. Take care.
Peace, Tim

So sorry for your loss. I am in Western TN .... Sandee

Pam, don't think further. There is no need yet. It is ok to be in the fog. Its there to protect us through the first days. Its ok to just be with him. Hold his bathrobe if it makes you feel closer. Its all ok.

We are here for you. Hugs

Hang in there and follow your instincts to do what you must. The first weeks are hard but you will find yourself eventually. Hugs. Martha Jean

Thank you all for the kind words of encouragement. Forgive me if you've sent me a hug or friend request and I didn't reply. The site is new to me as you know and I'm still figuring out how it works. I think I hugged you and friend ed you too but I'm not sure.

Gosh, this is weird being without Bill. I don't know where I'm going. As if I were blind with my arms stretched out in front of me trying to feel around in the dark.

Pam, I agree with what the others have said...take it one day at a time and do what's right for you.
I went through the same fog you did...its hard. I held an Estate Sale of such of her clothes and such...a week or so after she passed .just because it was too hard for me to see them in the closet each day...do what you want and on your own time. From what has been said to Me here in this group is that we will all be OK.
Hugs,
Jon.

Pam,
I am so sorry for your loss. I pray that God eases your pain
My girl passed 4 months ago. I have her urn on my dresser with her wedding ring and her pendant with our images that she wore all the time. Her slippers are in the exact spot where she left them when the ambulance took her away. I cannot touch her clothes in the closet or her dresser.
What I want you to know is that when you joined this site you joined a group who have been where you are, feel your pain, and care very much about you. You are among friends.
Joe

I don't know how I will be OK without Bill. I just can't see that at this point. I can know it with my intellect but I can't feel it with my heart. My heart is so broken right now.

Pam, I JUST passed the 3 month mark a few days ago. About a week or so ago, I started to feel like the intense grief is easing up a bit. I took a short trip about 6 weeks after my husband died. Someone just asked me about it the other day. I had a hard time recalling much about it and was thinking "I was almost what I would call crazy at that time". Very little clear thinking, no ability to concentrate - only one thing on my mind - my husband, how much I missed him and what would my future look like. I read so many comments that it would get better. I didn't really believe it and in a way I didn't really want to believe it. But it has turned out to be true. The first while is awful - well, it is all awful - but with time, some food, more sleep, things do ease up.

I am so sorry for your loss and that you are going through all this. Hopefully it is a comfort to have this group that understands. It was for me.