Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
I have made a decision to no longer speak of my how I feel with my daughter. She has a master's degree in counciling, her own practice and is doing so awsome. Yet, through all her years of schooling and what a wonderful job she does with her clients she doesn't get it. And there is no way she will ever get it and I pray she never has too. Not that I expect her to council me anyway, that would be a big onflict of interest. I know she is hurting, she was with me when her dad died at home. I am sure she is haunted by that and I hate that I can't help her. I love her to pieces and am so very proud of her, but like we all have said, until you have walked this agonizing journey they don't get it! Through all the many losses of loved ones over the years there is one huge difference. My husband was here to support me and I him. Wrapping his loving arms around me helped tremendously to heal the pain. If he were only here now he would do the same. But he isn't! When I tell her my purpose is gone she says: mom that hurts me, your only purpose wasn't caring for dad! What about us three kids, your grandkids? No it wasn't, my purpose was sharing our lives together through thick and thin and we did. Loving each other unconditioanlly for eternity. So now I must find a new purpose, a way to enjoy life again without him, and know that each day brings me closer to the day we will be together again. Just ranting! AGAIN!! Hugs and Love to all, here's to better days, or at least moments! Michele
I told her I lived alone and ate alone, and was lonely, and neighbors and friends were available to come over easily.
She suggested I make dinner for her once a week. ha ha So, guess what I will be doing every Wednesday ;-)
They need to trust our feelings. And, listen to us!
Roz
I don't even like to wake up any morning.
I almost wish I was younger, at the age where some kids were living home and needed me to function every day. in the first weeks my daughter and G-daughters would call or text daily to check on me. not anymore. they are trying to survive it themselves.
ALL CLUELESS or just detached from what I am going through.
one evening when i was sortof talking about being sad about losing Melodie, he tried comparing my being alone to his being alone at night (he broke up with his girlfriend..4 years ago..she's fine..it was an amicable break up..they still talk..)
he's lucky i just blew it off and didn't strangle him.. i simply told him what you said...You do not know how this feels and I hope you never do..
My grief counselor for my grief group did a really good job on just about everything, until one day when she tried to make an analogy about her husband being out of town for a week, and being lonely, to our loss (the three widows in the group).
I also had an incredible experience where a divorced woman said she envied us widows because at least we had a loving marriage and hers had been horrible. People are just really stupid sometimes.