Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
On "that day" when my husband took his life he did two things that I remember clearly. He was doing all his laundry and he did the dishes in the sink. Because he was doing his laundry, I haven't been able to find a t-shirt that he'd worn. I have been searching for something that he'd worn that would smell like him-to no avail. I have one more laundry basket and I so hope there is something of is there...
Whenever he would call it would end with "Love you, bye." I had saved messages from him on my voicemail for a long time and maybe two weeks before that day, I had gotten rid of them. I was just trying to be organized...What I wouldn't give to hear his voice again in any trivial message that would end with something I need to hear now more than ever: "love you, bye"
And he hated to be photographed or on video so there are only shadows in recordings and so few pictures....In the Bible it talks about different people who were so overcome with grief and sadness that they tore their clothes. It hurts so much right now that I want to scream and tear my clothes...
Whenever he would call it would end with "Love you, bye." I had saved messages from him on my voicemail for a long time and maybe two weeks before that day, I had gotten rid of them. I was just trying to be organized...What I wouldn't give to hear his voice again in any trivial message that would end with something I need to hear now more than ever: "love you, bye"
And he hated to be photographed or on video so there are only shadows in recordings and so few pictures....In the Bible it talks about different people who were so overcome with grief and sadness that they tore their clothes. It hurts so much right now that I want to scream and tear my clothes...
I sleep in his pj pants and his tshirts. I make use of as many of his things as I can, even some of his gloves which since I can't hold his hand at least they offer a warm feeling.
I'm all for theraputic steps toward healing. If you want to scream and tear your clothes I say go for it. Give yourself a good session of venting and screaming. Hope it helps.
I wish you peace, and we all need time, lots of time.
I do wear his sweaters, the favorite ones, that helps, since I often felt them on him, now they wrap me.
Try a hug pillow? made with a sweater of his, spritzed with his cologne?
My heart J.
Take care of yourself now and be patient with yourself. It's harder to do more than we did before. We call it baby steps. Sharon
Right before my Roby died we were getting for a trip to the cancer center. So I had done all the laundry and had packed the suitcases. He spent his time in bed not wearing anything.
So when he died my Mom and sister went in the house and started clearing some things out and washed the sheets and everything else lying around.
So I had nothing with his smell on it. I still try finding something.
I dont have his voice on anything either. I miss his voice so much.