Rai105, Iam so sorry for your loss. I have walked the same path( Car Accident ) as you but it was 10 years ago July 20th 2008. When I lost my wife of 8 years and mother of my 3 young children. So its safe to say I can relate to what you are currently going through. I may not know the complete circumstances of your situation but I can relate to your loss. I joined the forums here today for another reason but had seen in the side link a link to your post. So I felt pulled to come and chime in.. I have belonged to another forum on the internet that dealt with being a widow/widower and believe me this forum will be a life line for you. Please hear me when I say I don't know it all iam neither a professional or a no it all lol. But I have walked the path you are going to walk into the future. Being 10 years ahead of you at the moment does give me some insight. Some subjective advice.. Take what works for you and use it if you can.

Some one has already mentioned let the tears fall.. Best advice ( 5 stars) go with your grief and pain. Scream, yell , get angry, write ! anything you do right now will offer a cathartic release.. This part of the process... is the raw part its primal, and its about survival right now. Go with it.. this is part of the transformation process .. this is part of becoming stronger. It will allow you to pick up the pieces and live again...

Everyone is different and we grieve and mourn at different frequencies and lengths. The closer we are to someone the harder and harsher the process of learning to re-adjust, re-define ourselves in the aftermath of our loss. but its part of a process, and it has a lot of similarities between those living within it. I will stop droning on here now and let someone else have a chance to speak.. but I will leave you with this....

In this life....We learn ….from experiencing both sides of every possibility.

• In order to fully understand and appreciate kindness, we must experience cruelty.
* In order to fully understand and appreciate joy, we must experience depression, suffering and upset.

• In order to fully understand and appreciate health, we must experience sickness.

*In order to fully understand and appreciate comfort, we must experience discomfort in one way or another.

• To truly understand and appreciate Life we must suffer though a Death of someone or something truly close to us.

And so it goes for every possible experience that exists, we experience both sides of the spectrum in order to understand and appreciate the opposite. We are meant to learn from every good and bad situation in this life. And the loss of those close to us is a driving force of change that starts us on the journey of understanding.

I wish you peace for your shattered heart... And a level path on your unwanted journey..

Broken-one821

I am so sorry sweetheart. I lost my husband a little over 2 years ago when his car was hit head on by a drunk driver. We'd been together since I was 19, dating almost 20 years, married for almost 7. Our girls were 5 and 3. It's a really difficult way to lose a loved one especially your soulmate. If you ever need to talk you can message me.

I am so sorry for your loss. The loss of your husband has nothing like anything else. I felt like I died with him only I was still breathing.. Tomorrow is the 11th Anniversary of his death. The loss doesn't go away, but unbelievable as it seemed I was able to build a life. At first I didn't want one, and if your feeling that way it's fine. I needed over 5 years to be able to accept a lunch date. Wishing you well.

Thank you so much, you all.. I am so sorry for your loss, as well.
I am really trying. Agree 100% with the person who said to plan something every day.. We need to feed our spirit and take the best care of ourselves possible, even though it can be very difficult.
Wish there was a clear path to future happiness for all of us. xo,
Rachel

To the gentleman who lost his wife, thank you for your profound and insightful words...