I am so sorry for your loss. I too lost my husband and best friend suddenly last August, and yes take it one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time. Welcome to our club, not one that any of us wanted to join. I can tell you it gets a little bit easier to breathe but for me it is extremely gradual, so much so that I didn't even notice it until I was re reading a journal I started to write to him right after he passed away. After 5 plus months, I can say it is a little better. I still write to him, it helps. Hang in there, I am sending you a warm hug.

I am so deeply sorry for your loss. I totally understand how you are feeling. I lost my husband to lung cancer and I was lost too, as well as scared. I had been with him since high school and never lived alone.

You will find your way through this nightmare and I hope you find comfort with us who are going through it with you. Sharon

I know how you are feeling Sharon. I lost my husband on Friday and do not know which way to turn. Its like living a nightmare.

My husband died from pancreatic cancer 3 years ago. He was diagnosed in February & lasted until September. Our lives will never be the same. What we live now is a different normal.
Unanswered questions daunt us, days come, days go.
We experience ups, we experience lows.
Our journey is now intertwined with grief.
As each day passes give yourself credit for getting thru it.
Upheavals do level out after awhile.

"Grief never ends, but it changes.
It's a passage not a place to stay.
Grief is not a sign of weakness
Nor a lack of faith.
It's the price of love."
Keep the faith
jdp

Kjm - my story is so similar. My husband was diagnosed in September and died in December. I'm still in shock and feel like I can't breathe. I still think he's going to walk in the door. He was my best friend, my soulmate, my business partner - my whole life. I have no idea how to do this life without him. I can't seem to get through an hour without breaking down.
I know this isn't helpful. I'm not sharing suggestions or tips. I don't have any. But I do want to say I understand that the pain feels unbearable. Somehow, someway we will both get thru this. We have to! To show ourselves, our loved ones, and others who will also join this group we have no desire to 'belong" to, that WE CAN!!! Sending you tons of love prayers and hugs!!

I'm so sorry love. My husband also lost his life to pancreatic cancer. When he was first diagnosed, I researched this terrible disease and knew right from the start that we were facing a death sentence. My beautiful man accepted the treatment which would prolong his life and at times we were given a glimmer of hope only to have our hopes dashed again and again. Michael went through 16 months of treatment before he decided he'd had enough. The final two weeks of his life was spent at home, on oxygen and massive pain meds. I hated it when he became unconscious and could no longer talk to me. He hadn't eaten anything or even had a drink in five days. I was in Gaga land using a wet cotton bud trying to keep his tongue wet. (What was I thinking?) I instinctively knew that he had died at 6am on the 17th of March 2014. I went to him and he was still warm. I ran my hands over his beautiful body for the last time. Forgive me but I opened his eyes and looked into the brown loving eyes I would never see again. It's nearly 3 years since Michael died. There is no way out of or around the pain but you will get through it darling xx

I lost my husband, soul mate and best friend on September 6th, 2016, to metastatic colon cancer. It was a horrible death. In the end, he had to be in such high pain medication that he was virtually in a coma. He passed away when I was not there, and I regret not going to the hospital to see him - we had been fighting his fight for a year and two days, and I had reached my emotional limit. I feel your pain, and I walk a similar path. I never signed up to be a single mom to our 12, 14 and 16 year old kids - I still have a lot of anger and so much pain. I do think I will get better at coping, in time. But I know this gaping hole will never go away. Sending you much support as you walk this journey - you are not alone.

I am glad you found this group, where every one of us understands how you feel. I am here to say that the loss is horrible, and the pain is so awful that your brain will do its best to protect you from it, by "denial" where your brain plays tricks on you making you think for a second that it didn't really happen. But for me, the most important thing was to keep talking about my wonderful husband, whenever I wanted to, to whomever would listen. This keeps him alive in a way, and kept me sane at the worst of times. Also, grief counseling with a professional grief counselor who can help with the PTSD type symptoms, and will help by giving you tools that you can use to feel better. Also, spending time with other people who lost their spouse creates a kind of solidarity in real life (in addition to this on-line forum), so that you can just look at another human being and know that they know what you are going through.