Hello Soulbroken,
I understand and feel the same. My wife died on June 28, 2016 (today is the five month mark). Some days are okay, some are less than okay and some are very less than okay (and today is shaping up to the last one). I too hope that one day I will snap out of the funk, or that I will at least start climbing out of the funk. I am not angry, I am just sad, so very sad. and now for a few tears... Somebody once told me that their partner is worth every one of those tears and they are so right. All of our partners are worth every one of those tears.
Blessings, Peace, Healing and Hope for you for today, and also for all that are hurting… Mark
And (((hugs)))

It sucks feeling this way. Not wanting to get out of bed. Yes they are worth the tears. But the reality of moving on is hard. It's sad!!!
Love and hugs!!

I have been the caregiver for my husband too..6 years,mine passed away March 03 2016..we were together 36 years..it is so tough and some days its Ok and then Bang..I have been allowing myself to cry now and it is helping me kind of..Love and Peace to you !!!

Losing a loved one is so hard. We will always mourn the loss of those we loved. Keep pushing forward moving on is always hard but it is necessary. If not we can end up bitter and resentful Look forward to the positive things in your life, and the challenging path of finding your identity now. Your focus was on your husband for those 9 years and now you have the challenge of refocusing on you. I know its hard. But you will overcome.

-Big hugs and lots of love!!

All the emotions you describe are true and we have gone through them also. As much as it's painful, it's necessary. I'm glad you are working, many find a release there. After work, concentrate on you. I often wrote letters to my husband filled with tears. It helped me get out the pain and felt like he was listening. I used up 2 notebooks filled with the same emotions. They are tucked away now. He's been gone 9 years and although he's always in my thoughts I can live again. Welcome to the group and sorry for your loss. Sharon

Hi, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. It is very stressful and heartbreaking to be the caregiver to our loved ones. I was caregiver for years and did everything for my husband, John, and yes, it was so heartbreaking to see him lose his strength because he was such a strong, beautiful man. I was powerless to save him. 16 months now, but I took care of him while he was in the hospital, nursing home, bringing him music, his food, bathing, cleaning him, everything and was with him until the end at the hospice. Just be proud of yourself that you stood by your husband and took care of him, it takes much loyalty, devotion and courage. But yet I totally understand your anger because I was the same way for months taking care of John because you are powerless to bring them back to health, even in spite of all the hi-tech medical procedures. It will just take time, days, weeks, months to find yourself again and gain your power and emotional strength will return. After a while, you will find your passion and goal in life and move forward from there. It is a matter of emotional survival to live your life to the fullest of joy and happiness, even though we will always be sad and missing our loved one. Take care.
Hugs, Nanette

You all are so fabulous! ! If I could hug you all I would. It touches my heart to know I'm not alone. It takes my breath away to know someone understands. For this I send you all hugs, and thanks!! I can't tell you how much it means to me. ( tears ) . Hugs!! Much love to you all!!

It has been a little over a year since my wife went to heaven. It was unexpected. I came in from work and found her in our bed gone.
The one thing I can promise you is that if you can hang on long enough it will get better. What's better is the pain will not be as intense. The grief will not knock you down as often. You will be able to function and think clearer. You'll be able to process in your heart and mind what has happened and put some perspective on it.
In the mean time, do not think about the next minute. It will take care of itself. Don't even try to think, what about tomorrow. Let it take care itself to. Just focus upon the day your in. And do not let anyone ever tell you, it's time to move on. Everyone is different. Some move quicker than others. I tend to think it depends a lot upon the kind of marriage/relationship you had with your spouse. For me the intensity of my pain and grief was in direct correlation with how much love I had/have for my wife. Take your time. It isn't a race. Cry anytime you need to. Grieve when you need to. Take time for yourself every time you need it. I'll tell what really has a positive effect is interacting with those who have been there before. Knowing your not alone in this kind of pain truly helps. It isn't anything to wish upon someone, but just knowing someone has been thru this and is going thru this helps with the hurting
And believe me, the folks here do completely understand what your going thru.

Take care.
Peace, Tim

Tim57
Thank you for your kind words. I have to say my husband was my soul mate, best friend. We didn't fight. We talked about everything. We were so compatible. Everyone who knew us would always say I wish I had the type of love you guys have. I have to say we were very bonded. We were best friends before we were married. I have been very blessed to have had that. I guess I should look at the blessing. You all are fabulous support. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
(Hugs) may we all find peace!