I hate to say this, but I don't think it's a good idea for you to be using dangerous, heavy, unwieldy equipment right now. It's another accident waiting to happen, and I don't think your kids could handle anything happening to you, especially if it was under similar circumstances. If you need a tree taken down, you should call someone else. Now is the time to call on all those offers of help. Your father-in-law or brother-in-law (I think you said) were part of the business and would know how to help. They can also show you the best way of doing it yourself in the future if you are really determined about this.

I would really recommend you not attempt this right now on your own. You would be amazed at how accident prone a lot of us are the first couple of years. Please don't add your name to that list.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

Seriously. Don't try this. You said you have a lot of people coming over all the time. I'm sure they're always offering help. Take it. Don't be too proud. I know you want to make Shane proud but if you get hurt or God forbid worse...your sweet family would truly suffer. Take care of yourself for Shane Be around to carry out both of your dreams. I know how it is to lose your childhood love of your life. But please don't unconsciously try to destroy yours. He's with you always and forever. Your a strong girl! But please ask for help with these physical tasks! We need you here too! Your input is so helpful!
Be careful!
Love to you!
Darcie

Amy, PLEASE don't even try to take that tree down. There are just some things others can and should do for you. You and Shane have tons of friends and I can't believe they wouldn't put their heads together and come up with a plan to take that tree down for you. It's time to call in some favors. Lord knows you and Shane were wonderful to so many people over the years. As far as being lonely, my whole body is hurting from loneliness. The day to day banter, the laughs, smiles tender kisses, hugs, everything that our husbands were to us, now gone. And though we all love our children, grands and friends it's not the same and never will be. I can be in a crowded room and still be lonely. Sleep? Just exactly what is that? I've been up all night for days, and beginning to have a hard time keeping a dream during a short nap straight from reality. I asked my son this morning if he had come out of his room and wanted me to go for pizza. Nope he didn't. Must have been dreaming. What a fuddled mind this journey gives us. Hang in there with me, lets get through this together, Hugs and Love to you, Michele

I recently decided to learn to use a chainsaw - a small, girly one. Everyone said to never do it alone and to get good guidance as there are so many tricks to it (as I'm sure you know - apologies given I'm sure you're way more experienced than I) and I took their advice. I'm at 16 months now and certainly wouldn't have attempted it in my first 12 months. My concentration was non-existent and I found so many ways to be clumsy without adding dangerous chainsaws into the mix.

I do wish you luck in learning but really encourage you to let someone experienced take the lead and teach you.

Please don't try this if you have no experience with the saw. Just to dangerous! Take a few more days to think it over.

I'm worried too -- I completely 100% understand the need to feel that you can do things alone. But taking a risk without good training, protective equipment, and experienced helpers nearby is not logical.

We have many downed trees in our backyard since a tornado type wind came through in June, but I'm learning patience and priorities while I wait to figure out what to do with them. One of my sons wants to borrow a chainsaw but I'm afraid of that even, because he does not have experience. The trees can wait until I figure out the best, safest thing to do.

I feel your pain. So many chores we have to do now without our spouse. Taking down a tree, I really commend you for your determination, but I agree that this should be left now to someone else. Grief, lack of sleep, chainsaw are not a good combination. Take good care of yourself... Let others help you... Many hugs,

Please don't do this. Considering how I lost my husband, I do not drive far distances. Please ask for help with this project.

I agree with the others. *Plus, I can say from firsthand experience, even something that we have done thousands of times before can be dangerous in our condition of grief. that is how I broke my leg: I got determined to accomplish something (not even a "new" chore). I was nor thinking clearly, and made a slight error in judgement. It has been pure HELL to be on forced inactivity from the injury.
Chainsaws are waaay more dangerous.

It does suck. I felt panic and desperation on an almost continual basis, never any let up and never a clue of how to ease those feelings. I kept thinking I had to do something, do it and things would right themselves, it didn't work that way of course. I was reeling and grabbing at straws so to speak, trying not to drown. I hope you didn't follow through on running the chainsaw today. Thinking of you.
Jean

The tree is down and cut up. My son was here to supervise but I told him that I needed to do the work. The "small saw" was at my other son's house and he was at work so I had to use the big saw. My arms hurt, and I am too tired to do the cleanup just yet but I will work on that in an hour or so I hope.

Wow, I'm so glad everything went well and you weren't hurt. You worried a lot of us. Rest now.....you can clean up tomorrow!

Congratulations on getting it done. It's great that you had your son there.

Whew you had us all going ya know that don't you!!!~ (smile)

So glad you had supervision. A lot of chain saw shops have chain saw safety classes as do agencies such as Dept of Natural Resources, even a Backcountry Horseman group here does.

I do understand I just need to getter done though.. HUGS

Amy, are you doing this on purpose......trying to give an older woman a heart attack! I totally get your attitude and absolutely love your energy. You NEEDED to prove this can be done and YOU can do it! Love it!

Okay, you did it! Now, no more taking big chances. This is dangerous stuff, as you well know!

Congratulations! WonderWoman!!!!!

Roz [You get two hearts for getting the job done!]