I understand the lost and loneliness..it seems to never end. I try Breathing and Praying and then i talk to myself and tell myself i can make him proud of me by being Me. It has been just a year since my husband of 36 years passed and am off and on feeling Me coming back. I lost half of me when he died and it seems as though no one i am around understands this except two people. But until you have gone through it you have no idea on how it feels. When he first died ..i really don't remember too much except i would get tingling feelings in my knees and my stomach hurt. The tingling has kinda gone away now. But the emptiness in my heart hasn't. Its like starting your whole life over again because what i knew is gone. Now there's a whole new? me. Forever changed but not gone. Please remember you are not alone in this craziness we are all going through this and there is strength in numbers (( Hugs))

Thank you Sheila, I have just come back from a 2 week holiday with 7 friends, all widows (a word I hate) They invited me a few weeks after Chris died and I accepted on impulse then spent the rest of the year regretting it. I had a good time but feel more lonely than ever since I got back. Xx

We can't change the past and we have very little control of the future. One minute,hour,day at a time.

I too am very very lonely since my wife past in July. I miss her every second of every day. Weekdays are bad but at least I have work. That gets me out of the house 10 hours a day. Weekends are the worst!! We were empty nester so the weekends were ours. Shopping,lunch,dinners out,grilling at home,concerts,drives in the country I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

Now my weekends are mostly spent in front of the idiot box. Sure I run my errands,vaccum,do laundry,write out bills. When I'm out doing errands sometimes I'll stop for lunch by myself (I hate it). I have to except that this is my new normal for now.

You will get through this. You are a little ahead of me on this bumpy road we are all on. Sounds like you have a great support group in your 7 no longer married (I won't use the word you hate ☺) friends. Hold on to them. They will help you through this and you will help them.

Big hug.....

It took me a long time to get back to somewhat better feeling. Take it slow and one step at a time. I kept working right after the funeral. I accepted most invitations from friends. I turned down my nephew's wedding because I knew I would end up crying and I didn't want to cry on his happy occasions. I had to fly home alone to family functions. It was difficult but I had to do. I went hiking with my daughter's family at Zion National Park last December in the midst of winter. Hiked a difficult and icy trail. My son-in-law told me I was the oldest hiker that day. I felt so accomplished that I could do this that my husband had never done. He would be so proud of me because at one point I was so scared coming down on a 45 degree icy slope, I hesitated but make the plunge to brace myself for that scary descent. My friends could hardly believe I did that trail especially in winter.

Give yourself lots of time get support and some day you will get there.

Thank you all for your messages, I also work and put on a brave face and I am sure that none of my colleagues know what is going on inside. As soon as I get in the car to drive home the emotions start. I hate going back to an empty house we always got home around the same time and had a routine. I have 2 children and 7 Grandchildren near but they have busy lives and as they say life goes on but it is so hard. I also watch a lot of TV just for company but it is no replacement it just fills the quietness and loneliness. Lack of sleep is a real issue as I have to leave for work at 7.15 and don't get back until 5.15 but as soon as I get to bed I am wide awake.

"As soon as I get in the car to drive home the emotions start.".... I understand Freda. The first thing I did when I was leaving work was call my Anne. Tell her I was leaving and ask her if she needed anything. Her response was always..."Well if your stopping....." I have a 50 minute commute. I go past 4 major grocery stores and untold mini marts. She didn't want to put me out. That was just her. My response was always (whether I planned on it or not) "yeah I'm stopping,what do you need?"

Now those 50 minutes are spend driving home through teary eyes. I too hate coming home to a empty house. This is the hand we were delt my friend. As much as we don't like it we have to play it out. Ask ourselfs...How would your Chris and my Anne want us to live the remainder of our lives? Answer that question in our own heads and try to carry it out. Honor their memory. I am of the belief we will see them again when our turn comes. This phrase has helped me the last 7 months......

Grief is the price we pay for love........We were lucky to have what we had however short a time it may have been.

Hi I completely understand what you mean and I do try to get out and do things but at the end of the day you still have to go home. This was not how our lives were meant to end up when we got to this age. The children have grown up the mortgage paid so finances were easier and we should be enjoying these years together and I am sure you feel the same
And much as we try it isn't easy to follow your dreams with someone else.

I truly feel for you. We were married for 41 years and had a lot of fun times together. I have some good friends and family but they aren't my hubby. I miss him dreadfully but am trying to live a life of which he would be proud and look forward to the day we are reunited. Take care, learn to ride the waves xx

Thank you, I am trying to be strong and I hope things will get clearer further down the road x

I am going on 6 months without my husband of 41 years, I went from being someone's daughter, then someone's wife, someone's mom and now I am someone's widow. Having a hard time finding who I am.

I totally understand what you mean, I met my husband when I was 16, got married when I was 18 so have never lived on my own.. I feel that I have lost my identity and I also feel old. My friends have been really supportive they formed a group a few years ago for people that have lost partners to have a social life, holidays theatre trips etc,but I never thought I would be a member. I have just had a lovely holiday with them but right up to the night before I nearly pulled out as I have only been away with family so all new to me. It was great as I have never been to America before but so many times I thought how much my husband would have loved it, he is always in my thoughts and always will be. You take care and look after yourself. xx,

It has been 3 years for me & there still are triggers.
It's a new you
It's a journey now intertwined with grief
It takes time

Life continues, we try & adjust
Loneliness
Sleepless nights
Dining alone
And so it goes
Try & find something positive
Think good thoughts
We must look out for ourselves now
Blessings
jdp