Hmm . . I know there will be other member parents that will have some good advice for you. I didn't have a young child when I became a widow, so just thinking what would I do in your situation(?) I think the locket idea is nice, as she will be surrounded by children with living mothers and will be asked questions about hers. I think it might make her feel comfortable knowing that her mom is still with her . . in her locket. It could be a show and tell type thing. (Kids love that) I would think it would be cathartic . . but I'm not an expert. Maybe you could broach the subject with her on a five year old level and see how she feels?? Keep us posted and I wish her a wonderful first year in school. You're a good daddy for considering what might be in her best interest. Hugs to you, Dayna

I agree with Dayna. I do not have young children. I think the locket is a very touching idea. yes, talk to your daughter about it. great job Dad! I will be thinking of you and your daughter the first day of school. Hugs! Sue

Amazingly enough some 5 year olds are very mature and can verbalize how they feel and make their needs very clear, while others are very introspective and not so verbal.

You know your child. Ask her how she feels about it and what she'd like to do. You might be surprised by the answer.

Just remember to consider her feelings about what she wears on her body.

I'm sorry that you are faced with such decisions at such a young age yourself. You sound like a wonderful and concerned father. Good luck!

Roz

My kids are older. That being said I got them each a pendant with their dad's fingerprint on it and they wear them all the time. It makes them feel closer to him. With your daughter being so young you should ask her and see what she says. I agree with Dayna and Coop. I think maybe you should pull out a few pictures of your wife that you would want in the locket and have her choose which one she wants and also have her go with you to pick out a locket. Make sure it is some what durable so she can open and close it a lot. That way she can see mommy whenever she wants. You are a good daddy for being so thoughtful. There will be many points in her life where she will need her mom and this is a great place to start building a foundation so she can keep her mom close.

I have a locket with my husband's picture, and my grand daughter who turned 2 in June was very attached to her "papa". She loves the locket. She will grab it and say "That's my Papa" and then kiss it. I know she is a bit younger than your daughter, but I think that the locket might be a very good idea.

I hate to say this, but no, it's not a good idea for her to have jewelry to wear to school. Some schools also prohibit kids from wearing jewelry as it invites bullying, theft, and can be a hazard on play equipment, etc. It's a lovely idea, but she's really not old enough for that.

I also don't think it's a good idea to make a big deal out of her not having a Mom. Most of the kids she goes to school with will be from single-parent households. Unfortunately, it is the state of the world today that half of marriages end in divorce, and that's for those who bother to marry. Some days I feel likea real dinosaur because I believe in marriage! If you are taking her for her first day, that's all she needs.

My first day of school, my older sister had to take me because my Dad was in the hospital with his first cancer. It didn't affect me that my Mom wasn't there.

If you are uncertain, discuss it with her teacher or the school guidance counselor. I do think you probably need to check with the school about dress code rules as many prohibit jewelry now for safety concerns.

I think the bigger deal you make out of it, then the lesson to her at 5 years old is that it is a big deal and that's what she's going to go with. I think it would be better if she knew you were behind her 110% instead of emphasizing who won't be there for her.

If you want to get her a locket as a keepsake that she can enjoy at home, that's different, but I also have to say, as someone who has been in the jewelry trade (not just the law!), that she is too young for anything of real value. Sorry to be a Debbie Downer here....

Just my two cents......

Love and Hugs,
Martha

I had a pendant made with my wife's finger print on it after she passed away. The funeral home presented the idea. I wear mine everyday and have one for my daughter and my son. I understand your feelings....my son started kindergarten a few weeks back and it was hard. I saw mostly couples there with their kids and if it was a lone parent it was the mom. It was a very hard day. I was happy for my son but sad that that will be the first of many things she will miss for both of them. With that being said, I'd make the locket...but probably hold off on giving it to her till she reaches adolescence. Just me

I have to agree with what Martha said. It was my original response to your post. I believe that it's your desire to have her mom with her. She is young and innocent enough to know her mom is with her.

Wait and see if she says she is questioning the fact her mom doesn't physically come to school or wish she would. That would be an appropriate time to offer alternative. It would be devastating to have the locket broken or lost.

Just my opinion, give both of you time to work on this. Sharon

My youngest has just started school and he will be 5 Nov 4th. He was born after my husband died. I made it through the initial challenges of getting the other 4 back on track with school following the death of their dad but this one is different. He has no memories to fall back on. I do worry how he will deal with some of the questions.

Maggie