Speaking as a Christian, I think Biblical based counseling could be of great benefit if you have share that faith. But be wary of labels - my wife and I spent a lot of time ministering to people that were deeply hurt, some even broken by so-called "christians" and some their churches. And it will depend on who is doing the counseling. Unless the mediator has been through this loss, it would be difficult for me to take seriously any advice that is given. Pray about it, and trust your gut feeling. That is the Holy Spirit speaking to you. If you get uncomfortable with any of it, just leave and don't go back. Just my opinion. ~ Scott

I never did individual counseling, so I have no basis to compare. Group therapy was immensely helpful for me, not just because of the group leader, who was a widow,but because of my group. We bonded and helped each other recover. Life became so much easier when I realized I was not alone and other people just like me in my situaton felt the same way.
Hugs,
Val

I went to a few sessions of one on one counselling and while there were things I retained that help some, I did not learn to grieve in a better manner until I attended a support group. The group was not for widows and widowers only but it was all about people having felt a lost. The good part about the support group is that you could speak if you chose to do so or just sit and absorb what others had to say. The support group was also an organized session geared towards helping understand and cope. Videos and information was given and then the chance to interact. A break halfway through would give the facilitators time to approach people and chit chat .It was an 8 week session and I went back for another one when it became available because the first time around , you get some from it but you are still so numb that the second time helps you move forward that much more. By the third session I was asked to help out by breaking the ice so to speak and then for the next few sessions was myself a facilitator with given tasks. This session due to increased work load as a student to become an EA, I had to take a step back and cut down on some of my volunteering and while I will go to help out if needed, I won't be there for the 8 weeks weekly meet-ups. One on one help but also brought on much more pain, while group support brought on some pain, it allow me to just be at times and also to interact and laugh in a positive manner. I have also created lasting friendships with some and we socialize outside of the group meetings.

I've found both individual and group approaches to be helpful. But it can't be just any therapist or any group. Like Scott is saying. You have to find the right person or group, and you might not get the right fit on the first try. Be especially wary of anyone who says you have to see me and no one else for at least six months. What they should tell is try out more than one group and/or counselor, and pick the one you're most comfortable with.

I used both and the members here. Group meetings helped me to talk and listen to others who had lost their spouse face to face and individual counseling helped me with personal issues like how do I go forward after this life changing experience. The time came when I decided that I was happy with just dailystrength.

Deciding to try them is fine and choose what is best for you. Sharon

Both are beneficial because they are very different in some ways. In a support group you learn you are not alone and share common experiences with others in grief which often allows friendships to be formed. In individual counseling you can focus on your needs where you are in the grief process. For individual counseling how good the counselor is makes a huge difference. It took 2 attempts for me to find a good counselor. Good luck to you. P.S I forgot to mention the makeup of the support group is important to. You really have to try and see if its a good fit for you.

I think both approaches can be beneficial. The groups will tend to have more structure as there will be a facilitator and some kind of order has to be maintained. Sometimes having structure like that makes it easier to share your experiences, and it is affirming to hear others voicing the same thoughts.

The one-on-one is different. It will not be as linear or structured, although a therapist can set out specific objectives/goals and give you specific things to try (sort of like homework). The individual counseling situation can be a wonderful release simply because you do not have to meet the group or group's facilitator's expectations. It is much more about your personal expereince.

I have had both types of therapies at different times in my life. Both were worthwhile. Some situations were not appropriate or helpful, so I didn't go back. In some respects, it helps to remember, especially with therapists, that you are hiring a professional, and that if there approach to the work or quality of work is not comfortable or helpful to you then you do not have to continue to "employ" them. Just like a plumber or lawyer or whatever. You are the consumer of trhe services. I have had a couple of bad therapists, but most of my experiences were positive.

Some people try either or both and become frustrated because it doesn't automatically eliminate all the pain. You will need to have some patience and put in some effort. Don't be too discouraged, and whatever you do, don't try to compare your "progress" (for lack of a better term) with other people's. Each loss is unique, and so each healing will be likewise unique.

Specifically for the loss of my husband Cliff, I had one-on-one counseling with a licensed therapist which I received for free through an Employee Assistance Program through my work. There were no groups I could get to, so my group therapy was joining DS. I also did my own self-help research, reading a handful of books on grieving, which was also helpful.

I think you should try the group, with an open mind, and if it's not for you, that's okay. Try something else. I agree with Scott and the others -- it is important that the person (therapist or facilitator) have training/experience with the issues of grieving. Someone who has only done marriage counseling, for instance, may be clueless about loss. I do hope you find something that works for you.

Love and Hug,
Martha