Very, very normal. Watching blossoming love, couples, families, when yours has been blown apart is difficult to feel happiness for the couple when all you are feeling is heartbreak. 5 years now for me and I still haven't been to a wedding, plenty of funerals, but no weddings. Be kind to yourself, your feelings are valid because they are yours. Peace to you, Lori

Seeing any happy couple on the street makes me sad, because they remind me of what I recently lost. It's not their fault and it's not my fault. That's just the way it is. I suppose we'll get used to it after a while.

I feel that way too and hope it will go away. Seeing happy couples makes me so very sad.

hearing couples plan for retirement is my trigger. I feel guilty for feeling annoyed and also angry at their insensitvity. It's only been 2 1/2 months, makes my heart feel they have forgotten him already - even though my head knows that is not true.

Yup, the triggers keep coming. I'm done with that! Wish I could say it and mean it!! There will always be "triggers". The question is, how we chose to react. In early and middle stages of grief . . we don't think . . but rather react . . out of anger, our personal loss and grief. As time goes by, these triggers do lose their energy and we start to become "stabilized" in our reality (as those are around us). We are all in differing spaces and life continues on. I've learned to be happy for those that still have a dream in tact . . and I hope that my shattered dreams will come together, albeit different and I too will have a chance at happiness once again. My view has started to change at 14 months. Still much work ahead, but I do see progress. Round of hugs to all. xo, D

At my 35th college reunion two weeks ago, I met many spouses - and I was deeply sad that my "spouse slot" is recently empty. I mean really sad.

I tried to counter by bragging about my wonderful daughter. That helped a little :)

During the weekend, it also occurred to me that becoming a widower is not the hardest thing I had to deal with in my life: recovering from debilitating mental illness, and 10 years of homelessness with my family, those things were harder.

Just because I was able to put it into perspective doesn't make it any easier, though, either.

Tracy,
When I go to the market and I see couples shopping together, it serves as a reminder that I'm alone now.

I'm the lady that I used to feel sorry for who's all by herself. I'm the lady who needs someone to help her load the groceries; I'm the lady who's buying 2 tomatoes; 4 carrots; 2 bananas; 4 apples and a pint of ice cream. Food for one!!!!!

I used to feel so sorry for that lady and now, I'm her!!!!

Roz

Seeing happy couples/families stabs me in the heart, too...not that I begrudge them of their happiness...I used to know that happiness...it's just not fair that we've lost ours...

We do learn to deal with the triggers slowly. I used to absolutely lose it when I saw a couple riding together on a motorcycle, because we had so many wonderful memories on the bike. Then there were the celebrations I attended alone. Now I can pretty much get past most things. The Anniversary of his death is the hardest. Sharon

I feel the same about seeing old couples holding hands together. I used to think it was lovely, now I'm just jealous. Hoping this will pass too.

Passing through the airport recently I saw a younger woman reach over and give the man she was with a kiss, just like I used to do. Had to look away as it choked me up. Sure it's normal. Just reminders of what we used to have.

Hang in there, wishing you peaceful days ahead, Liz

I feel the same way, sadness for things that will be gone forever and annoyance at how dear friends can chatter on and on about weddings and grandchildren and retirement and vacations together and doing all the things that once would have been my life but now that's gone. I've been to several weddings and my daughters are bridesmaids in an upcoming wedding, which will be very hard for them, to watch the father daughter dance, and seeing the dad take his daughter down the aisle.......they won't have that now. They have to do all that and put on a brave face and I'll be reading a blessing and putting on a brave face and be happy for the young couple, of course, but gosh it's so hard.

Yes, it is hard. My late husband & I use to hold hands all the time & tell each other that we loved each other everyday. Sometimes when I see people kiss each other on TV & just want to cry, because I miss his kisses. However I have told couples that I know & even people in stores that show affection to love each other a little more each day....

Why us???

We would be out and see an older couple strolling along, holding hands, smiling and enjoying each others company and I would tell him "that's going to be us" i turn away when I see it now. It's more than I can handle.