You take it minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day. Ask God to be with you and help you. He will be there.

Psalms 34:18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

just do the next thing. one day at a time.

It is so hard! Just feel like I am letting everyone down and I try to do everything but sometimes I just want to run away for myself.

Every one tells me my wife is with me. I don't feel her. I am one of those people who needs more than another person telling me she is with me. I miss her so much. I know she would not want me to be so sad but I am. They say there is no pain in heaven, therefore if that is true my pain here is not felt by her there. Does any of this make sense to anyone?

Take everything one day at a time. You say you fee like you're letting everyone down. Who's everyone? This is about you and there is no shame in that, Believe me some people will try to take advantage of your situation. You need time for yourself to grieve. Do not let anyone else tell you how to, or try to make you do anything you're not comfortable with.

Everyone is my boys, my mother in law, my sisters in law and my friends. Thank your eric1971 for listening and replying I truly appreciate it.

I posted this article previously (didn't write it, taken from another website). It might trigger some thoughts for you.
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/widows-widowers/discussion/how-do-you-survive-2