I have created what I call my "Honey Boxes". I have two boxes so far (file box size) into which I put things into that are, to me, the most meaningful items connected to my husband: his jewelry, his tallis, tefillin, prayerbooks, Rabbinical certficate, all diplomas and awards, his watch, diaries, mementos of the children when they were young that he saved, some photos (Photos tend to be a separate category), etc.

I still have most of his good clothes, but gave away all the junky stuff, threw out his underwear and socks, asked his daughters to go through and take what they want before I did anything with his clothes.

I still have all his books with the exception of all his technology books, most of which dealt with old and outdated programming languages, and old computing mags. Those I donated or threw out, depending on condition.

The "Honey Boxes" will eventually go to his daughters, but not for many years, I hope.

I actually do not have a hard time parting with things. I tend to be an organized person and like things in their place and hate disorganized clutter. I keep my house neat, and clean and am not much of a pack rat. I think this is because my first husband WAS a pack rat, so much so, that it really was a symptom of his OCD. It was OVERWHELMING and took over our lives. I could not deal with it and it was one of the major things that caused us to break up (that and his refusal to work for a living!).

I was so glad when I married my DH that he was not like that AT ALL. He was, however, disorganized -- but I put up with that. However, it was his disorganization that has put into the financial and familial upheavals that I am now dealing with and so I am experiencing a further backlash against that: I will NEVER put up with that again. Not from myself, nor from anyone else who will be in my life in any major way. No way, no how, no sir!!

I don't think there is a time table of when to get rid of the personal things of our loved one. My husband Jesse died Nov 2, 2006 and I still have not been able to give any of his things away, heck! I can;t even pack them away. All his things are the way he left them when he died, I mean everything. It does not bother me to see his things. To me, if I never get rid of his things, It's OK.
You'll know when the time is right, don't let anybody rush you....Hugs Stella

It's been 2 1/2 years since my husband died and I still think of him and miss him everyday. I read about how other wives have been able to go thru their husbands things. I haven't and I don't know when I will be able to. The worst part is I don't know what I'm waiting for. He's not coming back, he'll never need these things again, what the hell am I doing?
I think I'll start sorting his things then I stop, I say to myself, "I don't need the closet space, what's the hurry". The good part is, I too have learned to use some of his tools. That's what I do, I look for the "good part".

I gave away most of Dutch's clothes fairly quickly. My baby brother and he wore the same size shoe and clothes and I knew he would want Billy to have them. I kept special things, his pajama bottoms, his thick denim workshirt, our matching Texas Flag shirts, etc. And, all of his knick knacks. But, I have found it easy to let the special things go to family members because I think if he were here, what would he do with them. And I know I've done the right thing for us. You need to do whatever makes you feel safe and secure. If it is next year or in fifty years, it is on your timetable. This isn't about other people, it is totally about you. It's better to hang on to them than to let them go and then regret it! I even buried him in some items that his father wanted . They belonged to Dutch and by default, they belonged to me. I knew he would want them with him so, he has them. And I have never regretted it for a second. God bless you sweetie!!!! Jenny