Wow some people absolutely amaze me! I have never given it a thought and I would never change my name. You are absolutely correct if my husband were still alive we would also still be married! Try to just forget that stupid question and keep moving forward. It is not an easy task.

Hi I have been a widow for 10 years now. Nothing surprises me. Apparently the coworker feels comfortable around you enough not be careful about her choice of words etc. Actually you really want that. I know I hated peoples walking on eggshells around me.. some people don’t have the experience or sensitivity and really don’t understand. The challenge is speaking truth in love to them so you’re feelings are acknowledged and her feelings are not hurt. I am still working on this myself. It takes practice. You might tell her that you loved your husband dearly and it is an honor to bear his name and you don’t see any benefit to changing your name as bearing his name is a comfort to you. Perhaps if you were divorced you might have considered changing your name but typically widows do not do that. Thank you for asking.

Hind sight is 20/20, so don’t get down on yourself if you freeze up initially. Just try to remember she didn’t say it to offend you or piss you off. She was just trying to have a conversation. Hope this helps.

Oh wow - I hope I'm never asked that question! But somehow, somewhere, someone finds a way to knock you sideways with a simple question. Now that you've posted this here, I've actually thought about my last name, which is my husband's last name that I took 5 years ago when we got married. Logistically, it was such a pain to change my name, I don't know how I'd have the energy to do it again. And like Chickenlil just said that having his name is an honor and comfort. That is so very true! Plus, if my husband hadn't passed away 18 days ago, we would definitely still be married. In fact, I still feel married anyway.

Losing a hubby is devastating enough, but unfortunately there are others with no empathy or common sense.
Take one day at a time. It's ok to cry, it's ok to get mad, it's ok to be sad. Scream, break something, cry till you fall asleep. You have lost apart of yourself. BUT!!! Don't let it consume YOU!!!
Your hubby wouldn't want you to. Think of something he might say if he saw you right now. Listen to your heart.
These feelings will get easier with time, but it will never go away.
ONE STEP AT A TIME, ONE AT A TIME, There is no rush, no time limit... and you are never alone, for our loved ones will always be in our hearts.

Wow....I really have a hard time with this one! So insensitive. That is a thought that would never have crossed my mind. Nobody truly understands being a widow/er until they go through it,

We have been married for 13 months, 13 days when he died. Ironically, I had just started to change my name to my married one before he fell ill. Now, it's been 4 months since my husband passed away, and I am still in the process of changing my name (on credit cards) to my married one. I made it a point, I want it, I like seeing it printed, I like to pronounce it, my new married name. Even though I am a widow, and I moved the ring on the right hand, and I have recently accepted the fact that my husband is gone, gone, gone, and will never be back, I know I am his Mrs.