Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
So I was unfortunately never able to have children of my own. My first husband Steven only had 1 daughter and she never wanted much to do with him unless he had wallet in hand.. so when he passed and she found out that he had nothing to leave behind but debt and no life insurance, she never even came to his service. It wasn’t so hard for me to get her out of my mind because she didn’t care about her dad. When I married Terry, I was so happy to hear that he had a great relationship with all 5 of his kids, 2 lived out of state and 3 he raised on his own since they were pre-teens. When he and I married he only had his youngest still living with him but she was turning 18 and getting ready to take on the world herself. With the 3 youngest kids mom walking out of their lives at an early age so she could “live her own life”, I became someone they could depend on for advice, a listener, a friend, a cheerleader, and most of all someone who loved and took care of their dad like no one else ever had. He would brag about how happy he was with me. He had on many occasions talked to them and the 2 older girls out of state that if anything ever happened to him, he wanted them to keep in touch with me and keep the grandkids in my life. They all promised him they would stay in my life. Well, for about the first 2 weeks after his death, they all did. However when I tried to plan a few hours of their time (the 3 in this state) to come see them at Christmas, they didn’t have time.. they were going to their mom’s house... now as long as Terry and I were together, they despised being around their mom and Terry would try to tell them to spend some time with her.. he would say that no matter what she had done, she was still their mom. The 2 older girls out of state had a different mom and had a good relationship with her but still welcomed me with open arms, they still keep in touch with me but they spent less time with their dad than the other 3 who have somewhat cut me off. What hurts even more is not seeing my 3 yr. old grandson. I’m trying to reach out to them but to no avail. Not sure what to do here because I too made a promise to Terry that I would always be here for the kids and would keep in touch with them.
