I remember it well. I think it is when the numbness wears off and reality sets in. I am very sorry for your loss. The people here are going through the same and are very caring. Hugs!!!!

There are so many stages--and even seemingly repetitions of stages--I still occasionally find myself unbelieving of what has happened--I'm over a year and am starting to have some really unsettling dreams involving my husband--and just yesterday I saw something on TV that brought something to my mind and I automatically thought "I need to ask Steve about that" before it struck me that he was gone. There doesn't seem to be any logic to it, it just happens. I agree that anything new coming up seems to bring on difficult moments--even things that are good. I think we are geared to sharing those moments, events, with that one person who we loved and loved us so much--not having them here makes it stressful. I am wishing you much luck in your new job--may it be a wonderful turning point toward healing and wholeness again. Hugs

What can I tell you except that I too have the same experience, and it is awful. The other morning I awoke to my partner calling me. I jumped up to respond, and then of course reality set in. Hugs xxxxxxxxxxxx

I'm just hitting seven months and I think I am going through that second state of shock now too. I couple of months ago it all felt more real to me than it does now. I don't quite understand it either, maybe it's the reality of the rest of my life alone sinking in. But yes, it is happening to me too.

When I got past the initial shocked, numb beginning. I was nearly haunted with thoughts of remembering the year before, what we were doing one year earlier and having no idea what was coming in the future. It became a harder walk for me when I would remember---last year we were at the beach, or last year we went away for our anniversary and didn't know we only had one month left---I am at nearly 18 months now and it is better, but I still get a heart hit out of the blue and just can't believe he is gone from my life.
Wishing you well in your new job, Sal

Starting a new job is a biggie, as far as stress is concerned. It is normal to be apprehensive. If he had been here now, you would have been able to talk to him about your making this move in your life. But he isn't here, and you are denied the opportunity to get his input on this. I think it will resolve itself as time goes along and you feel more comfortable in your new job. Congratulations on your new job!!

I remember that roller coaster....I still ride it many days.....I think we are so numb the first six months that the reality doesn`t sink in and then it hits us like a ton of bricks. When I sit here and think about my future without my husband I sill can`t believe it many days but we will get there little by little, step by step, sending you hugs today, Lu Ann

I am so sorry for your loss. After my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 lung and bone cancer, I would wake up every morning and suddenly remember our fate. It was horrible. Then after he passed away, I woke up every morning and remembered with shock that he had passed away. That eased with time but I still am shocked now and again that this has happened. I'm at 4 yrs. and do pretty well most of the time but have one of "those days" every now and then. Still hard to believe sometimes. Take care, Sandra

Yep, my friend, I have been there, and as a matter of fact driving home today from my MIL's. I have driven that way each and every week-end for well over a year now, and the crying while driving stopped about 5 months ago, but today in the DAYTIME it hit me again out of nowhere, and I started to cry, like it just happened. I thnk it just hits when it want to HIT so to speaqk, with no rhyme or reason to it seemingly.

I'm sure the neqw job starting is weighing heavily on your mind, and why you are waking so much more and realizing that he again is not there to bounce you nervousness off on. I feel that way with every new thing I tackle, but in the end, when you tackle it? and YOU WILL DO GREATa tomorrow!!, You will know that he WAS listening to you as always, and when you were waking, maybe that's when he was listeing even harder!

HUGS and it happens over and over again. As long as we keep going, and getting back up? We are getting through it. And as time goes on, it doesn't happen as often or as long anymore. I hope that helps?

Diane

I am now. It started about 5 months ago. It's been two years this month for me. It's hard to accept.

Not so much now, but once in a while, the Thought will come into My Head, out of no where, " Did this really Happen? nothing seems to Trigger it, it just comes.

Thank you for all your advice and reassurances, I guess I just didn't expect the initial shock feeling, like the day I was told Ric was dead. It just shoots to the core and is such a terrifying pain, that I didn't think it was possible to feel that ten months on, amongst all the other pain and emotion we go through. Here's to hanging on with you guys, hugs Nicola

Today is just 2 weeks for me. I am still reliving each Sunday thru Saturday. If I awaken anytime around 4:30am, I am stuck. I know the shock will wear off after a while, but It is difficult right now

Oh those dreams and they don't stop.
We are getting ready to go to work or maybe out to dinner. Everything is (our Normal life as it was)

When I do wake up it still takes time to realize it was a dream.

I finally end up telling myself. "None of that happened, he is dead"

I do want so much for those dreams to be real.
Even after 6 years I still have them.

Sorry I have not been on here for quite sometime.

graci