I'm sorry for your loss, and sorry for all the other stuff your going threw. I know how you feel, all I want is my hubby. On top of feeling like your work ended, I see you have kids. I do to, and its hard to put on your happy face. They do keep you going though. I pray for your strength and come Here whenever you need to. We care

Sorry there was a type o. I ment your world ending not work, ;)

It takes everything that we have in us just to survive for a long long time. Yeah...people just do not understand. Of course we are cranky...tired...grumpy...early on.. We are actively grieving for a long long time. Our worlds were turned upside down and it take time...lots and lots of time grieving before we can make some sense of our world once more. It is a changed world and everything about it has changed so we have to figure it all out.

Yeah...others just don't get it. You have every right to every feeling and emotion that you go through. Please be especially kind to yourself through this very very hard to live through time.

There are so many times I wish I could just reach through the computer screen to another person and give them a real hug...

Real hugs feel so much better. Since I can't...I guess I'll just send you a virtual hug.

((((((((((hug))))))))))
-Diana

Family is a strange thing. By being family they think that they can treat you in a different, offhand way - after all you can`t choose em or loose em. Only 13 weeks, take care of yourself, if you feel tired - rest. You have been through a tremendous shock.
I hope that you can have a sweet dream of your Chris... your sister in pain,, G-

Your title says it all. simple to write....in the beiginning IMPOSSIBLE to do.

The same thing with me...my kids didn't know how to even handle me, in the beiginning. theya re older, and as much as they are wonderful kids and I thank my lucky stars for them, they couldn't understand me. I had no focus at all, would make it to the end of the day, go into my room and that was IT....for seemed like forever. I stayed on DS day and night, and although I got stuff 'done' I really coudn't tell you how I did. Auto pilot is the best way to describe it. and they do NOT understand. And we can't understand WHY they don't understand!?!?

So MANY people say..'if you need anythingt call me" But the thing is that WE don't KNOW what we want, and what we NEED? They can't give us...so we don't call. they call, we don't want to talk. They don't call? WE want to talk!! and it goes on and on. We are exhausted, no one understands. We can't sleep? no one understands. We do everything in our powr to honor our sweet spouse and what they meant to us, all the whil thinking.'Who honors us?" I understand so well and have been there.

Before? Doing nothing? Was joy. NOW doing EVERYTHING is empty right? No joy, no matter what, or how much you do do!!

Everyday you get up and say to yourself 'Today I am going to make it through this day" Everday at some point you think you are NOT going to make it. Been there, and know it well.

But EVERYDAY that you DO get up and try? IS surviving. EVERYDAY that you don't give up? You are SURVIVING. Everyday that you just breathe in and out? SUVIVING. Everyday yu draw from the love that is in your heart, and you try to give it out the very best way you know how? You are indeed HONORING the day...and HIM.

HUGS of understanding and keep hangin in there...you will make it through....Diane

Try to relax. Just sit down, put your feet up and close your eyes. Breathe. If tears slip out it is okay. Let them flow. It is time to take care of you.

I am so sorry for your pain and I so remember being where you are. Someone gave me the advise above that I share with you. Focus on you. You have suffered a tragedy and you need to rest and just be. Sharon

Don't get me started on family. But after getting through 9 weeks without Wayne, I am realising that no one can do anything to help me.

I have no advice to you, but do understand how you feel

Peace to you
Dually

Jaime,
I understand, all of us here do. There seems to be just no way to make "civilians" understand. We have to take care of ourselves and sometimes just be willing to tell them a little about how we feel. It is not always possible to give people what they expect from us.

Love you, Julie

Get it that you would love to be with your one and only....................so many changes on top of the loss of your love..............know what you mean about .hurry up and wait..................when we need things we really are at the mercy of those we ask..........(or who volunteer)................hugs......Lori

I know exactly how you feel. I need someone to hit me on the head with a board and say, "Stop checking that cellphone--no one is going to call you..." No text messages. No voicemails. No kidding--I'm a stranger to them now...

My Friend Jaime

To begin, it is beyond good that you shared from your heart with words that speak to what and how you feel! I understand how it can appear confusing at times to re-learn living again without your beloved Chris. However, you are doing a majorly good job! One that, I am certain, would make your beloved Chris a very proud and deeply pleased man!

Any amount of weeks is not much time when considering it from a linear perspective. However, heart timing hears a different sound. These differences, linear and heart timing, can co-mingle one to the other, in this renewed life. It requires listening to the sounds your heart whispers and not allowing oneself to become enmeshed with the thralldom of linear timing. Trust your quiet inner guidance and this will lead you along this pathway of Healing.

I believe that you will only continue to re-learn and in doing so you will deepen in your abilities of inner strength. This is actually happening as you Walk day by day. It just appears to not be evident. Trust the whispering sounds of quiet inner guidance within your heart.

AND never forget the words of your beloved Chris when he was at his strongest height while speaking words of encouragement into your heart. AND know that I believe too that you know what you need and how you feel!

Finally, I can only imagine your beloved Chris would remind you of this too! Simply remember what he would speak into your heart right about now, aye!

Be encouraged tenderhearted one

Your Friend
BEAR

Do not beat yourself up for where you are and how you are feeling.
This is the loneliness and toughest job: widow or widower
There are no rights or wrongs in feelings, and please come a vent its best to get it out....

It is sad to find out when you have to face this others do not and are not able to be there - I find others step up out of the woodwork - I think we all wish we could change things but now we are forced to face them anyway....HUGS