You don't need to be trained to rejoice again, just be patient, healing your heart takes time. Laughter is organic, sense of humor has not died.
It brought so much joy to my family hearing me laughing wholeheartedly for the first time "after".

Me and my sons needed laughter after Cliff died, but it was pretty danged hard to feel like there was anything funny in our world. So we started watching really goofy DVDs. We watched old Marx Brothers movies, the Three Stooges, Bugs Bunny, anything that was mindlessly goofy. Slapstick seemed the best bet.

The ability to enjoy the funny is there, but you have to give it a chance. If slapstick doesn't do it for you, Youtube has a wealth of stuff - everything from cat videos to Ylvis music videos.

'Laughter is the best medicine' is the old adage, but it is also preventative medicine. If you spend all your time grieving, you can get stuck in a grief pattern, which turns into depression, and that can bring an array of health problems with it. So it is important to give yourself a good laugh, and it is important to not feel guilty about that. Human beings are odd critters - we need to laugh as much as we need love and air and food.

Eventually the anger at others' laughter will subside, as will the pain, the guilt, and hopefully part of the laughter that returns will be those silly memories you have tucked away of happier times with Janice. I have those kinds of thoughts now of my husband Cliff. He could be downright goofy sometimes. :) It won't always hurt as much as it does right now. Don't give up.

I hope this helps a little, and that something gives you a good chuckle. Here's what gave me the first laugh of the day:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zsl_auoGuy4&list=PL1560FC7F392E4D0C

Love and Hugs,
Martha

"This is so frustrating!... I mean didn't they feel the world shake and crumble, in an explosion so big it rocked the galaxy?"

That was how I felt, but you have to learn that for others it just didn't register on their seismograph. Where as your feel permanently demolished with the magnitude of the quake.
We are here, and we understand. But I can tell you at almost too years memories or something that you hear...will register and small squeaks of a foreign sound will sneak out, you will laugh again. I promise you.

Hugs, Jewells

I am so with you. At times it feels like I'm on the outside of the scene when with people or even when watching something funny.
I will look forward to reading posts from others to see if it ever comes back.

I am at almost 17 months now and, in looking back, I can't remember when I first laughed again. It was a while but I knew that I HAD to learn to laugh again so I began watching funny shows on TV and cartoons with the grandkids. The capacity gradually returned and now it is so much easier.

I made a pact with myself that cancer was not going to destroy my life even though it took my husband's. That gives me the incentive many times to do things I don't feel like doing and pushes me forward into life. I know so many people who have lost their spouses so I have their example to know that life does go on. My grief only joins thousands of others. In that I am not alone or unique.

This might sound like I need the men in white coats but I watch TV with my Honey. Yes, he's gone but I know he's still hanging around so if I see something funny on Tv I feel like he's there with me and I know he's laughing. Laughter was a huge part of life for us. He made me laugh all the time. He loved to see me smile.
So , yes I talk to him and when silly stuff happens I blame him for it and we laugh .
Find something that used to make you laugh...whether on Tv or in a joke book or even in a Reader's Digest.Don't give up. It will happen. Fist you smile a bit, then later you might chuckle and eventually you will laugh.
Big hugs and Peace,
Nancy

Certainly you don't feel like laughing during the numb auto pilot stage...you just exist and "DO" what you have to do. Certainly not during the gut wrenching hell pain part. Certainly not during the laying there on the ground unable to get back up stage. Maybe you see a ray of it during the okay...now I have to rebuild but how stage...Maybe a little more during the rebuilding stage....but NOT when a good gust of wind knocks down what you have been painstakingly tried to rebuild. No the sense of humor comes when you have rebuilt your life after all of those others stages. Even then there are times that you "go back to visit other stages" and during those go back moments it is hard to laugh for awhile again...but by then you have learned that you will survive the landmines and you will cherish most of the memories for the gift that they are.

That's me anyway....at five years...
hugs...
-Diana

About 9 months after my wife passed I went to a movie and laughed. It was the first time I did that in 2 years when the cancer battle began. It felt so strange because it had been so long. I am now at 15 months and truthfully laughter and joy is still something I struggle to regain. It was such a huge part of my life before cancer. The other night I was teasing my dgt with a little bit of laughing. It was a indication the laughter may be coming back. I live in hope it will blossom once again. Gerald

You can not train yourself to appreciate humor. Many people who have never experienced a loss have no humor. One thing that I remember most was when I first came here and read something Marsha wrote. She had me in a state of pee my pants laughter and it was a good feeling. I had to go look in the mirror to make sure I was laughing. Laughter is spontaneous and comes from within.

Maggie

Laughter was taken from my life too when I lost my husband to lung cancer. It seemed to be replaced with anger for me. The unfairness of what happened was made worse by others joy. Even nature lived on with trees blooming and the sun shining on my sadness. Was I jealous? Yes and I had earned that right. So have you.
You can be sad, even angry. They are part of grief. Don't hold on to the feelings, but let yourself feel them and let your tears wash them away. You are with people who understand because we all know how you feel. Hugs, Sharon

I laughed from the get go. When we found out that hubby was terminal we only a few precious days to make the most of it. He left me with some requests and one of them was "I need you to keep your sense of humour , you will need it" During making arrangements , my kids and I from lack of sleep and nervous energy were thankful to have his cousin help us through reading selections but this also meant laughing at every little things. The laughter was in lieu of crying but was just as emotional. The bereavement lady assigned to us from the church , laughed along with us and reminded us that it was all part of grieving and to not feel guilty that we were laughing that that`s what he would want from us. A few weeks later I stopped by and visited friends at bowling and when I said something funny, my friend look at the others and said "she is back" and gave me a hug. No I wasn`t back but laughing was my wall to hide behind. I laughed but it wasn`t completely real. A few weeks ago , I laughed while recounting a story to my mom and she said "You don`t know how good to hear you laugh like that " I knew what she meant, this was genuine, I `m coming back to the living kind of laughter. Not a shield , not fake but part of who I am and who hubby fell in Love with.

My sense of humor is one of the few things I didn't lose. I've been able to still laugh at myself and find humor in many situations. Wish I could say it made all of this easier and maybe it has and I don't realize it. My daughter interviewed me once for a school project and asked the secret to a strong marriage and I told her a good sense of humor. We laughed over so many things, most of all ourselves.I think yours will come back when your ready.
Russ

I like missmyhero's description of being in a "numb autopilot" mode. I think I have to come out of that before I will let myself laugh again without it being forced. i feel the same way. When I hear people around me laughing, it feels like I am on a 10 second delay and have to make myself react. I hope it goes away also as I enjoy laughing and always had a great sense of humor in the past.

It has been 14 months since my husband died and I find that there are some things I am having to literally force myself to do. One of them is finding my sense of humor. I find that watching funny stuff on TV helps. Have you seen the show whos line is it anyway... I find it pretty funny. I think its CMT that has been running the comedic ventriloquist Jeff Dunham shows and also the blue collar comedy tours. Even though I have seen those many times before they still make me laugh. It is kind of bitter sweet as I used to watch comedy with my husband. I feel that I have to find my humor again as that is more to my basic nature. After Don died, as time passed, I found I was very very angry and I have had to spend some time acknowledging this. I have to say that there are days that go by without the tears and I have the feeling that I am getting back to the land of the living but then other days, like today, I find I am depressed again. It all comes in waves or like a seesaw. I hope and pray for more good days than bad and I do believe that looking for my lost humor is the key.

My heart goes out to you. Please be assured that at some point you will laugh again. I know what it is like to hear others laugh while you are dealing with the sadness in your life. Someday...and that varies from person to person...you will laugh. It may be at the most unexpected time. My husband and I were always showing each other something on TV, or in the paper, that we thought ridiculous or funny. Not too along ago I saw something on TV and burst out laughing. My next thought was "wait until I tell him about this". Even when I immediately realized that he wasn't there, I still had a smile on my face. Somehow I think he knew and had a laugh as well. Please hang in there!