It will take more time. I took a part time job at eight months and had to hide in back of the shop b/c of the way the tears sneaked up on me. I feel for you. Be good to yourself today. Hugs, Dolores

Yep! It happens but believe it or not...less and less as time goes on. I’m not saying the tears will ever stop but the severity of them eventually lightens up.
You’re so new to this. Just go with the flow and let your feelings out. You’re still learning how to navigate in this new world. Be patient with yourself and listen to your body.
Take care of you!
Warm hugs!
Darcie

Red, I know exactly what you mean. For me those moments feel as if I've literally been hit in the face. My eyes well up and things go dark. Eventually I come to and get back to those mundane things but I suspect that the harsh reality of our loss will continue to hit us for some time. From what I've learned from others here I believe that the punches will get softer.
Our men are gone and yet they're still with us. I don't know if any brain can fully grasp that paradox. But the times when gone is all we feel are the roughest.
All we can do then is hold on tight and ride it out. I know that the Reality Bronco won't be able to buck you off, sassy gal.
Ellen J

It has been almost 7months since my husband passed. I still feel the same thing you do. It seems like yesterday , everday. My heart goes out to everyone because i know how devastating this is. If I am being to much of a downer i'm sorry I am just trying to figure everything out myself. I am just so lost and lonely, even with a house full of people, there is always one thing missing.HIM. Hugs to everyone. Thanks for listening maybe this is what need.

Yes, I definitely experience that. It's very disconcerting because I never know what, if anything, will trigger it. The nightmares are getting worse, too. I feel like my brain is trying to process the unbelievable.

Although, I am also (slowly) starting to have pleasant memories that don't bring on the waves of grief. Yesterday my kids and I went out to brunch and my daughter didn't fully hear the conversation my son and I were having so she made a comment that made no sense. My husband was always doing that. It was very funny and I laughed so hard I cried as we remembered some of the funnier incidents. It felt really good not to cry out of pain but out of remembering something about my husband that was just funny and happy and goofy.

Deb....I still remember my first truly hardy laugh after Ira passed...it felt sooooo
good!!!!
A bit guilty but still so damn good.
:)
D

I think we all experienced that. The article called it the "thud".
https://www.dailystrength.org/journals/catherine-tidd-lonely-not-powerful-enough-word-to-describe-w

Hugs. Wishing you peace.

Deb: Glad to hear your memory brought you happiness instead of sadness. More of these moments will come as you progress along, and that's what makes grief calmer.

The initial feeling for me is fear and panic. Then the loneliness hits.

Rick is does sort of feel like fear when it comes and then the lonely ache

Jaxmate thanks for the reminder that I am that sassy girl. I forget about her sometimes

raininseattle thanks for sharing that post. It does feel like an amputation.

I haven't felt like that in a long time now, but I sure did those first few years. With time it changes from a sharp pain to an extreme sadness and its severity lessens as time goes by. There is still a sadness and a regret that Rick has not been here to see the kids grow up, the grandkids born, and the plans we made for our future come to fruition. There is also a renewed sweetness and joy in life over the things God has given me through the years. You just have to live through this time and experience it. That is why I am always praying for all of you. I know how difficult it is. Please be praying for me on March 24. That is the anniversary of the day the police notified me that my Rick had been hurt in a work accident. When I got to the hospital, he was already gone. Even though my life is full and sweet now, that is the day that I can't seem to shake off the sadness and the loneliness of not having him with me. Don't get me wrong, I still have my moments, but they are very far between. I am so grateful for how God put me back together. I guess I just allow myself that day and our wedding anniversary each year to mourn. Not sure if that is right or wrong. It just is. Anyway, the rest of the time I am okay. I just wanted you to know that, because you will be too. I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it will happen.

Prayers and hugs sent to you cupolatte. Your words have brought comfort and I hope you will find comfort on those hard anniversary days.

Thank you cupolatte I really need to know that one day I will be okay. Your words give me hope . Will be thinking and sending a prayer for you on the 24th