I have said from Day One (16 months ago) that I have no interest in dating or remarrying. I still feel that way. Joe did not really want me to remarry and I don't want to, either. However, for these 16 months I have been in such pain and loneliness, no one to talk to, confide in, get a hug from. I've been depressed and hoped for a message from God or Joe as to how to be happy again. I'm going through the motions, like staying busy, but at the end of the day I still have to come home alone with no one to share my thoughts with.

I've read here that many of you have "felt" your husbands/wives send you messages of one sort or another. I haven't felt anything but silence and was feeling left out. I prayed to God why Joe couldn't or wouldn't send me some message. Yesterday, I gently and soundlessly received a message from Joe saying, "I want you to have someone to care for you. I don't want you hurting." Today I began thinking of how I can have a man care for me without his wanting to get married. Years ago when single, I had a wonderful, loving man in my life for several years who was 17 years older than I. He wanted nothing but to care for me, no marriage, no sex. I realized that I would really love to have a man like that come into my life, maybe more of a father figure. We laughed, we hugged, we confided, we traveled. Do you think there might be a man out there for me who might want to be best friends but not anything more?