Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
My husband passed May 22 from recurring cancer. I have discussed this fear with my counselor and hope that in time it passes toward the positive side.
I know it is because my husband is not here, and I am on my own for the first time in 31 years.
I love my home, my comfort zone. It is in a 55+, with wonderful neighbors. We watch each other's back. I have no mortgage, and can easily make the bills on my salary. I know I am fully blessed in this regard.
I sometimes have an overwhelming fear that living in my home will work against me mentally, and I will have to leave it, or not want to come home to it. It makes me cry to think of this, for that's the last thing I need to do as my home is my comfort zone and I love it. I don't want to live anywhere else, or have to give it up and move in with someone else. I don't want to be someone's dependent, or lose everything we worked so hard for all these years because I can't live alone.
I'm almost 53, and have always been confident and independent. I have made nice changes in the house that I love. Also made a list of pros and cons, and the only con I have is that my husband is not there.
Has anyone else experienced this? Does it pass, and what did you do, if anything, to make some sense of it?
I have made a stance that come heck or high water, I'm not selling my home even if it kills me. It would be the worse thing I could do as I really desire to settle into peace with living solo. Thought of a roommate, but I don't want someone under my feet or to have to entertain.
Help.
I know it is because my husband is not here, and I am on my own for the first time in 31 years.
I love my home, my comfort zone. It is in a 55+, with wonderful neighbors. We watch each other's back. I have no mortgage, and can easily make the bills on my salary. I know I am fully blessed in this regard.
I sometimes have an overwhelming fear that living in my home will work against me mentally, and I will have to leave it, or not want to come home to it. It makes me cry to think of this, for that's the last thing I need to do as my home is my comfort zone and I love it. I don't want to live anywhere else, or have to give it up and move in with someone else. I don't want to be someone's dependent, or lose everything we worked so hard for all these years because I can't live alone.
I'm almost 53, and have always been confident and independent. I have made nice changes in the house that I love. Also made a list of pros and cons, and the only con I have is that my husband is not there.
Has anyone else experienced this? Does it pass, and what did you do, if anything, to make some sense of it?
I have made a stance that come heck or high water, I'm not selling my home even if it kills me. It would be the worse thing I could do as I really desire to settle into peace with living solo. Thought of a roommate, but I don't want someone under my feet or to have to entertain.
Help.
deleted_user
I also realize I am alone. The most frightening part for me is to be able to sort through all of the things in the house. I definitely want to sell since that was our plan anyway. Just don't where to relocate. I will not part with any of the things that are"special" and were his. But, I have so much stuff in the crawl spaces and the garage. I will need to hire someone to help me clear out these things. Just getting the motivation to start sorting is paralyzing at this point. I know people say wait a year but that is just too long to have to deal with all the maintenance issues on my own.
jerseydebbie
Everything is an effort. I have a maintenance man, so I can call if I need repairs. Just the thought of vacuuming is pointless, but I have to vacuum tomorrow anyway. Also need to put the hose in the garage and I dread winter coming. I don't think it has anything to do with the house. It is us, the adjustment that we don't want to make but have to.
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