GOSH what a tough question to answer.

Not knowing you but reading your posts I think you have thought of alot of things regarding this.

Rules: No matter what boundaries are always good for a child, and they need them and they know that. SO you need to decide which important issues need boundaries in your place....Discuss them - write them down - just do not be too many but the most important issues: LIKE what are you responsibile for if she does something bad - because she was under your legal care
EXAMPLE: if she takes off with your car and wrecks (heaven forbid but you get the idea?)

Time out times: When a problem arises establish a time out time where both YOU and HER take a short break (cool down period) and than agree to get back to the problem to resolve it. Promise her and you - you will always go back to resolution of whatever....AND MAKE sure she understands that....

Counseling: It appears she needs it - FOR HER first. See where you can set some up as a part of your deal......And tell her she must keep it up -

AND for you - our state has GRANDPARENT support groups - see if you can get into one of those OR similar -

Having something to help with does help us MANY volunteer to help themselves get over grief in productive ways.

YOU have to for yourself determine if this is the right thing or too much.....

It seems you have done a lot of thinking about this...no one can predict the future except, well past behavior. Let your gut, your knowledge be your guide...and will you be able to handle any adverse actions.. Children though of the same parents, brother and sister do have have different ideas, beliefs personality, so look at her as an individual..and not a comparison

I only paused on one of your sentences. She does not believe in birth control and takes alot of pregnancy tests. Seems a bit irresponsible on her part, as pregnancy tests are not preventive measures and says a bit about her lifestyle.

You maybe her saving grace or not..in either case are you willing to accept the role...

Wishing you all the best. Be well, keep well...Hugs. Peace and blessings.

I commend you on your loving spirit. You should not be alone. Your idea of helping someone in need is just wonderful, you will be a blessing to someone.

This young lady seems like a free spirit, unable to commit to living situations or school. I would be very careful, she may be a handful. Teens can be very manipulative, and her charming demeanor may change once she is living with you. I'm sure she has friends, some of which may not be "desirable". If you move forward with this idea then maybe you should make it clear that your house is not a hang out, and perhaps even a curfew is in order. Do you want this teen coming home at 3AM from who knows where? Teens do not usually make sound decisions, this teen has had little by way of guidance, she clearly needs structure and help. The question is whether you are the one suited to the challenge.

God Bless, Sal.

I personally wouldn' do this. You're opening a can of worms and I have a feeling there will be regrets. Living with someone who isn't fully cooked yet is taking a huge risk, especially with such erratic history. It looks like you haven't had any conflict with her, which leads me to believe she respects you as a friend, mentor, and confidant. I think you're playing an important role already, but this is just my opinion.

Thanks to ALL of you for wonderful responses. Martha, your idea of a 2 week trial period sounds very good. I definitely would put into writing whatever we decide on and she will sign it or she will not move in. I'm not in a hurry right now, but just thinking ahead. Since she is 18 I would not be liable for anything she may do in her own life. I'll see how everything unfolds and decide very slowly if this is what I want. Again, thanks to everyone!

The liability is a fine line.

If she drives your car and has an accident then YOU can be sued.
If she brings drugs into the home and gets caught you can lose your home. If she runs up bills at the house then you are the one who will be held responsible. If she gets hurt at your home then she could sue you.

Lisa makes a good point. As an 18-year old adult (she may not seem like one but Florida law would consider her one), you may face shared responsibility if she does anything illegal in your home/on your property or with your property (your car). I would definitely want the trial run and responsibilities in writing. The written bit you may also want to include her folks on as well. Without being in the middle of it, and knowing all the people involved, it would be hard to say what all you would need to do.

We're not trying to scare you off the idea, but we all want you to remember to be safe and watch out for yourself, too.

Love and Hugs,
Martha

This is a huge step for you to undertake.
You say you would get the rules in writing. Great... but truly, what does that do? I remember we would make up 'contracts' with our kids... throughout their lives.... and if they didn't fulfill their end of the bargain.... then what???? I don't know what the ramifications for her would be if she doesn't live up to her end of the bargain.

I would seriously pray long and hard about this. Perhaps you could be a mentor in her life, without her actually moving in with you?

You must have a huge heart and I applaud you for your tender loving towards this troubled teen.

Hugs, Linda