Hi all. I just want to wanted to warn you I've returned to the internet dating ring again. I've had one date so far, and she managed to scam me for $160 before I got wise. Got off cheap this time. Best news is I don't have to worry about getting married again 2 weeks after I meet the new and improved "Mrs. Right for Me". Why not, those out of the loop of the fascinating life of Scottie are asking themselves. Well, it's because I'm still married to the woman who threatened to kill me 8 days after she moved in. Everybody knows you can't be married to two women at once. And I'm not changing my religion! But never fear, I'm determined not to spend all of Christmas holiday alone. Made up my mind to get back on this buckin bronco of internet dating when a neighbor I barely knew asked me to come have Thanksgiving dinner with them. Crap. I wasn't going to go to someone's house I barely know for Thanksgiving when I am all alone. Double crap. I think Juanita invited me to her house for Thanksgiving dinner and I barely knew her -- well, we did meet for the first time at a lengeria party a friend of hers had, 13 women there, and I was the only guy. Hell, I didn't even know what a lengereh party was. I must have turned 30 shades of red (not gray, not that kind of party). Triple dang, I had the body of a 25 year old back then. Quadruple dang, I had hair back all over my head back then! Yeah, dating was a whole lot easier back in the old days, but anyway the shock value of being asked to a strangers house to eat Thanksgiving dinner (bless their hearts), made me determined to find someone to spend at least a part of Thanksgiving with. I generally get what I set my mind to. Well, this one scammed me too, but I would have blown the money buying something for my pup anyway. Sorry, I'm actually writing this post to all of you because I wanted to share a copy of a "message" I just wrote what looks to be a wonderful potential date. So I'm asking you to consider this, How would you like to get such an introductory letter like this? 5 x Crap. Hell, it couldn't be any worse than actually going to Thanksgiving dinner with strangers :) Anywho, here's I copy of my introduction letter I just sent a lady tonight. I hope you enjoy it!  ~~~ Scottie

You made me smile when I saw you. More like your picture popped at me when I saw it. If you are looking for a possible new friend, I only live 2 1/2 hours away. And I get 3 day weekends, I am off work at 3 mon-thurs and start work at 8 those days. As the Styx song goes, "I've got too much time on my hands" and no one to share it with. Well, I do have a 13 week old puppy, we have fun together. Sorry if I sound pathetic because I am comfortable flying solo again after having the best marriage I could hope for 30 years. No one to reign me in -- I'm hoping I survive. But hey, I actually had to learn to 1) clean house - that should have it's own instruction manual; 2) do the dishes; 3) cook my own food -- a skill I received a grade of F- and I've been existing on fast food now since May 2015; 3) Do the household finances --- yeah right, I'm an attorney and a Financial Manager. How hard could that be? Crapola I say!; 4) Iron -- I could write a book on the 2 times I've attacked that ironing board; 5) Dust -- which is a whole nutter full-time job that also comes with no manual; 6) Weed the flower beds -- Still haven't done that yet :) 7) Make the bed -- ooh, and that involves changing the sheet which brings us to 8) -- the number of new beginnings -- the wonderful task of laundry. Oh, I wrote a funny rendition of that first experience to my online support group for widows and widowers. If I'm making you smile, ask me for it and I'll nab one of my Domestic Goddess posts. -- we'll, that's what the wonderful women friends I have their "coined me". It stuck! Well, I don't know how I went down that rabbit hole, but I'm back now :) I find you very attractive as I hope you will me. I think we'd look good together -- at least you'd make me look better :) :) :)    (So you know, I thought that one worthy of 3 smiles). And so you know, I do still have all my teeth and honest, I've got me a real job.....g o l l y Andy. And they actually pay me to do what I love doing -- helping people. My point to all this is to wooo you into meeting me for a cup of coffee or other safe escape plan, to be followed by a nice sit down meal where we can have a nice relaxed conversation if we click. You already know that food and talk go together (don't worry, I am usually a quiet man -- at least used to be. But now I've got all this pent up talk in me, so you may want to bring a cork to jam in my mouth so you'll be able to get a word in edgewise :) :) :) :) -- I'm rating that one 4 smiles at least. A 2 1/2 hour drive to meet you is nothing. And I am confident you will say Yes to a meet, because if for no other reason you want to find out if I'm for real, or just plain nuts. (Please don't tell me which you decide, pretty please?) Okay, to the point. I'd be most honored if you allow me to introduce myself to you, watching you watching me drink my cup of coffee all the while I'm hoping against hope that you're not thinking, "Yeah right buster. Enjoy that one cup of coffee because as soon as you finish, I'm so outta here. Have a nice drive back all the way to Moses Lake!". Please, please let me know my fair maiden. And I do hope you've had as much fun reading this as I have had writing it you. It's your fault, you know. I've been trying to show off for you, like doing a wheeley on my bicycle so you'd see how cool I am -- no wait, that was in 7th grade and I crashed the bike -- how embarrassing. Now, who would write such a message as this as his first communication? Well, his name is Scott ------, his attorney bar number is ------- accessible through WSBA, and he works at -------, which google will do a fine job of finding our website for you. Hot Dang I hope you say "Yes, I'll have a cup of coffee with you". Hey, you think this is good,  well I've also got a lot of pent up love letters in me (just like the pent up talk) that most likely try to escape out of me if and when we connect like I'm thinkin we will. Oh, you can write me even if for some unimaginable reason you don't want to meet me -- like you forgot you were engaged and are really getting married next weekend -- hey it can happen,  I met my lovely wife #2 doing this internet dating stuff, fell head over heals in love, within 2 weeks we were married. She was really nice and I fell hard. She was an out of towner (everyone is to Moses Lake, but an out-of-stater as well. Took her 3 weeks to quit her job and move in with me. Well, my actual marriage lasted a mere 8 days before I had to call 911 for the first time in my life. Welcome to the dating world Scottie. Oh, she threatened to kill me because I hadn't done what I promised I'd do. Like what? I asked. Like put me on your house title, and on your bank accounts. "When would I have had time, I said (we had spent our first 3 days after move-in) in an insane 3 day trip to see her daughter in California -- 16 hour drive and she yelled at me half the night but refused to let me drive except 3 of the 16 nonstop hours. So anyway, she demands a "settlement" from me. Oh, all that was after she was up till all hours of the night yelling nonstop at me. I'm telling you, I slept with one eye open that night. Her last words to me were, "You're dead. You're so dead", in such a way that I thought about the knife block behind me and wondering if she'd might use one on me. Yeah, internet dating is a real kick in the pants. But then there is you an me, two naive nice and kind people who just want to have peace and fun and world peace! I look forward to meeting you K765 (your screen name makes me wonder if you're not some kind of secret agent looking for a dating cover -- Oh yeah, kinda like Mr. and Mrs. Smith. Sorry went down another rabbit trail. Have a wonderful evening, day, whenever you read this. Thanks for listening :) x 10 (to lazy to type that many smiles). God bless you. ~~~ Scottie

My PS to all you w/w out there: So that's my letter except I deleted my personal info (yeah, I sent a perfect stranger my identity so she could verify I am who I say I am -- there are some whack jobs out there -- wait, how do I know this woman is not a whack job -- 20 x crap. More like, Crapola. Like I say, my Juanita was always able to keep me grounded and saving me from myself was a non-stop job for her, bless her heart. Yeah, I'm just a tranparent kinda guy I guess. I love you all very much. Hang in there. Life is good once we can start living again. It's sure gotten to be a strange world out there. In ways I feel like my marriage to Juanita kept me in a protective bubble of happiness all those years. Good thing I went to her house that one Thanksgiving back in 1983. She was the "hostess with the mostest". God bless and comfort us all ~~~ Scottie