Hmm - interesting post! I also had a dream about my in-laws. I have had excellent relationships with all DW's family. I dreamt sister-in-law's husband died and I married her! Well, not sure if I will tell her when I see her at Christmas! He has a bad heart too, all the more reason to keep hush... I have read that your relationships do alter with the in-laws when you re-partner. I guess it is only natural since their loved one has died and they only knew you because you wed the late loved one. Already for me th erequency of contact has fallen away and my birthday was forgotten by all of them! But let's get sensible, surely it makes it easier to re-partner if the in-laws are not there so close?

Hey JP that's biblical isn't it! To wed your s.i.l. if she is widowed. Not to worry, you'd just be doing your Christain duty lol
I don't know what to say about the in-law comments. I mean these are people we shared 30t years with and most major events in our life. I guess things can get akward....and relationships fall away-shame tho

My wife's death was not unexpected. She had told her sister (and myself) that she expects me to mourn a decent time, then try to find someone else, and that she'd be mad if I did not (I was/am something of a shy loner). So I'd expect my sister in law to be happy for me if I did so.

I'm not there yet. the idea of dating again does not appeal. I'm not sure I'll ever be there. But I do know, in a couple years, I'll make some effort, if only because my wife told me I needed to.

Can your sister in law not see that your spouse would want you to be happy?

I am sure you were upset about your sister-in-laws dream. But it was just that a dream. I'm sure your sister-in=law
loves you a lot and she si afraid of loosing you that is why the dream upset so much. I would try to forget all about it.

I am sorry your in-laws are so wrapped up in their own grief and can't reach out to you. But you are right you have to go on without their support-they aren't strong enough to help you because of their grief. You need to focus on your needs and what can you do to better help yourself.!

This has happened to me twice, since I am twice widowed. The first time I noticed a coldness almost immediately from the normally friendly and loving in-laws. Then, when I remarried a year later, it really upset them. One of his sisters came over and demanded all the family pics, so I gave them to her. They of course found fault with my new husband.

Second round...his family already had it in for me from the get-go. After his brothers got all they wanted of his, I never hear from them - not even his twin sister. No one checks to see how I am doing. And they don't seem to be grieving either.

It is Biblical in most cases to remarry if one desires. My oldest brother ended up marrying his late wife's brother's ex-wife. People need to leave the choice up to the individual; if it makes a person happy to remarry, then people need to respect that choice. We have choices about everything else in life.

I go with A, it's just a dream. You could always ask her.

I thought my boyfriend's son and family and daughter and family would surely invite me to Thanksgiving and Christmas, which is his b-day, but they didn't. I wanted to spend them with the people who loved him. They didn't call or text to see how I was doing either, that hurt!! I hope they would want you to be happy and I don't know why they wouldn't, that's terrible, don't understand that. Maybe she doesn't want to lose you, not sure. Blessed to you and all!!

In my opinion, this problem belongs to your sister in law. I can understand her apprehension about losing her brother and the thought that you may and very well could enter another relationship. That has no bearing on your future and your choices.
I waited until I was ready to enter another relationship. Some thought "how could you " Well until they are in that position they don't know and you certainly don't have to explain anything to her.
On a softer note, she could be sincere about worried about you being hurt., but you have the right to run your own life. I was in the same position and I simply talked to friends or others about how much I loved my husband and I know he wants nothing but my happiness. No more explanations needed.