Widows & Widowers Support Group
This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.
You could worry yourself sick trying to be a better person, spend thousands of sleepless nights figuring out how to live to be clean, decent and honest, make a good plan and bolt it in place, kneel by your bed each night and sweat to God you'll stick by it, go to church and promise properly. You could cross your heart, hope to die, cut your thumb, squeeze out the blood, pen solemn vows on a rock with the blood, AND then out of the black beyond some nameless catastrophe swoops into your life and turns everything upside down and inside out forever.
Its called loss of your loved one - the worst. You become alot less clear about most things from then on - dreaming of them - working to get your life back on some kind of even keel unfazed becomes your goal.
Identifying the important things in life - You know relationships and people are but where are they? Doing their better person stint - how do you now identify what is important? You hear its you - take care of yourself - sounds good - Doing is the tough step.
Just one of those what am I doing days. Thanks for letting me vent.
Its called loss of your loved one - the worst. You become alot less clear about most things from then on - dreaming of them - working to get your life back on some kind of even keel unfazed becomes your goal.
Identifying the important things in life - You know relationships and people are but where are they? Doing their better person stint - how do you now identify what is important? You hear its you - take care of yourself - sounds good - Doing is the tough step.
Just one of those what am I doing days. Thanks for letting me vent.
I think Sharon has really hit upon something important. It recently occurred to me, one of the only things that is guaranteed in this life is that I am going to be with "me" from birth to death. Those with me when I was born, my parents, will be gone by the time I die. My children have their own lives, as well they should. We will ultimately die alone.
This past year and a half I have become my own best friend, have gotten to know me like never before. I feel like I've already had several different lives already, have reinvented myself or my roles several times already before this. So who am I? What is the essence of me?
I've taken time, space, and silence to find out. It has been frequently painful and lonely, but I now feel totally comfortable in my own company, in my own skin. I feel like I'm part of this wonderful creation without having to be anyone's anything. I know what makes me happy, what upsets me. I know how to soothe myself. I know how to entertain myself. I know I need to be connected to others, but I also must be connected to myself--and for me, to God.
Loss is devastating, but inevitable in life. I don't know why. But everyone and everything dies. I do know that as long as I'm breathing, I want to be fully alive. And that's what I think is our task--to find meaning in life again. It's a struggle, but it's worth it.
Amy