Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Death & Dying
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I want my life back!!

mclizm
mclizm
Today is one of those "I want my life back" days. So tired of dealing with this grief journey. I just want things to go back to the way they were. This is so unfair. Feeling lonely and sad. Missing my best friend. For whatever reason this has become one of those long weekends. Restless, yet not really motivated to do much of anything. Dwelling on how life used to be with PJ. We always seemed so busy on the weekends. Time just flew. Now I feel like I'm just waiting for the day to be over so I can go to bed. Can't believe I'm saying this but I'd almost rather be at work!! This is not living and I don't know to get back there. After 10 months the friends that were around in the early days seem to have pretty much gone back to their own lives. I don't blame them. It's just that my life came to a screeching halt. Like being sent to jail in Monopoly. I'm sitting here missing my turns while watching others continue to play the game. I'm sorry. I just need to vent to those who understand. Just give in to it, have a good cry and try again tomorrow, right? Thanks for listening guys, Liz
janpeter
janpeter
I also cry out for my old life, it is coming into winter here now in my part of Australia and I find myself miserable and sad, missing my husband more each day. I hate the cold weather and every year we would take our caravan up north for 2 to 3 months of camping and traveling around. It just feels so wrong now to not be cleaning out the van, packing and getting ready to go. And I just can't get my head around the 'he is gone forever' bit. I keep thinking ' no God, you can't mean forever, I'll never see him again'. Looking down the years ahead without him is almost too much to bear. Outwardly, I function o.k. Inside I am dying a little bit more myself every day. So thankful for this group. I come here often each day just to be with you all and gain some hope and perspective.
deauxgirl
deauxgirl
I'm at 5 years, and still have those Sundays, that I think I'll go crazy with boredom. I did at about a year, try Meet Up groups, just out for pizza, with people, 20s to 60s, it was hard to do on my own, but I'm glad I did it. I met a lady at one of the meetings, and we go and do things together on the weekend, sometimes. I go to the movies alone, the casino alone (cut back alot on that one), go to seminars at the library, anything, to get out among the living. I do work alot, but it's not social, it's a big difference. People do volunteer work, but I'm only off on Sundays and Wednesdays, so most, don't work for me. Getting involved with a church or bible group, is an option too. Good luck, it does get better.
Paula
dab3lucky
dab3lucky
I feel the same .don't know how to cope .have no outlets no work retired don't feel well feel like running but where to?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hey Dab, I don't know where you live.....but, if you run to my house, I promise some very interesting conversation and hugs.

I truly believe that the "not feeling well" is part and parcel of this grieving thing. It's part of "feeling blue!"

I feel like driving to Solvang [it's a small Scandanavian village about 75 miles north of Los Angeles.] We'll have sausages/ cabbage and abelskivers for dessert.

It's a day long journey filled with lovely surroundings, happy people and lots of sunshine. Who wants to join me?

Roz
slimbear
slimbear
Roz,

I would consider your offer, but I no longer live in southern California. Solvang is a place I went to with my wife.

I used to (and still could) go to a website of cancer survivors. It was prostate cancer, so it was all guys. They would organize a regular meeting somewhere in the US. I never go around to joining them, but they always seemed to have a good time.
n8vgrl
n8vgrl
Wow Liz, I know how you feel. It's been just a short 5-6 weeks for me but everything is upside down. I feel like my life was a snow globe that got all shook up, turned over and smashed with a hammer. Now it's all over the floor. When I come home from work my dogs greet me and I thank God for them. There is a pervasive sense of loneliness with me all the time but nights and weekends are the worst. The bed is too big and sometimes I find myself listening to songs that remind me of him....sometimes ALL songs remind me of him. I suppose all we can do is one step in front of another. Hugs.