Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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rw18 10/27/2013

I lost my boyfriend 3 months ago today. It was totally sudden and unexpected and he was only 25 years old. I was meant to be seeing him later that day but that morning my life was tipped upside down when I got a call to say get to a&e as quick as I could as he was in resus. I expected to get there and him to be lay there looking a bit worse for wear but ok but I was too late. He was gone before I got there.. We still don't have a cause of death which just makes everything worse. People look at you like your stupid when you say you don't know what happened and worst thing is they jump to the conclusion it was drugs as he was so young. He wouldnt touch drugs I know that for sure. I miss him so much and its not getting any easier, each day without him is so hard. He was the love of my life, we wanted to have kids, get married, grow old together and I don't understand why we couldn't have that chance. He really was one of life's good ones, nobody has a bad word to say about him, it doesn't make sense when you see so many horrible people still walking round. People say because I'm so young I'll find someone else, even his mum sat down with me and told me he'd send someone else to love me but I don't want anyone else. How can I ever love anyone like I love him? I feel too young to have to deal with this and I just don't know what to do. I'm fed up of feeling so alone and upset all the time even though I have so much support from my family, his family and my friends and his friend and I just want to know if it ever will get easier?

pseudowidow 10/27/2013

Sorry you are here too. But here you will find people that can provide you a steady input of supportive encouraging words. I am not the best person to help you now, I totally relate to your words, I lost the love of my life a month ago, so I am just trying to breathe, but they say id gets easier with time. Unfortunately there is no way of knowing how much time. Hugs

chilipepper328 10/27/2013

I am so very sorry for your pain and loss. I can relate to the unfulfilled dreams you had with your love and the feeling you will never love that way again. Hold on to the love and support you have and take it one day at a time as that is all we have. My deepest condolences.

deleted_user 10/27/2013

So sorry so young! Sad .
There are some great people who can help here.
Maureen

jewells1 10/28/2013

Welcome. I am sorry that you are here. But here is a good place, considering your loss. I hate when there is "No answers", but I can tell you if you had them as I do. It wouldn't be any easier.

Gentle hugs,
Jewells.

NutritionMagician 10/28/2013

I am so sorry. Its hard being our age. I am 24 and suddenly lost my boyfriend to an unexpected suicide. People say I'm strong because I'm young. I feel your heartbreak and hope that you find strength in his love for you.

randall441 10/28/2013

I'm sorry for your loss, I understand what you're going through. It took me almost 5 months to get autopsy results when my wife past so unexpectedly when I was out of town. All I can tell you is that it will get easier with time, I didn't believe that when I heard that here early on but it will. Try not to concern yourself with what other people assume with what happened. Be kind to yourself and come here often for support, we really do understand.

Take care, Randall

rochelle1466 10/28/2013

its difficult to understand why people feel its comforting to hear 'you will love again' its the last thing we need to hear. Forgive them, they know of nothing else to say. Your loss so new and raw. Your emotions so vivid. I am so sorry you have to be here with us. There are so many caring and understanding people in this group. hugs to your aching heart

rw18 10/28/2013

Thanks for your replies. Although I have so much support from family and friends I just feel like nobody really understands how I feel. I mean I have no idea how his mum and dad feel losing a son or how his brother and sister feel. Nobody I know has ever lost anyone they love so young and it helps in a way to see how others are dealing with a similar loss. I am under no illusion it'll get easier anytime soon and like you say NutritionMagician people just keep saying we're strong coz we are so young but I guess you probably have never felt so weak in your life like me. Its easier to put a brave face on round people as I find if I start crying then so do they and that makes me feel even worse so its when im alone I always end up breaking down. I know people think they're being helpful saying 'you'll love again' but like a lot of you say that really is the last thing we want to hear. If somebody loses their mum people don't start saying there'll be someone else coz nobody can ever replace your parents so how can anyone ever replace the one you love. Even if you do 'move on' and find someone else they won't be replacing the person you lost coz they'll aways be with you. I just hope we get a what soon, nothing will ever explain to me why he was taken so young but at least I will know what caused it.

deleted_user 10/29/2013

I'm sorry for your loss, My husband has been gone 7 months tomorrow and I heard lots of things like you will date again, life moves on but what I have really learned is that my friends and family do not want to see me sad so they say things hoping I will feel better. I still miss Gary so much and I always will but the everyday stuff is getting easier. Doesn't mean I have forgotten him, I never will.

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