Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

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Est92 10/07/2016

I lost my husband suddenly in an accident just 26 days ago and this is the worst feeling I have ever felt in my entire life. I am going on with my days and nights but everything seems off and I do not know how to make it right. The world just seems so much more empty, lonely and meaningless to me now. I have known this man for 24 years of my existence and thinking about life without him is mind piercing.

People ask me daily how I am doing and I honestly do not know that answer. I just don't know what to do and how to begin. He used to tell me all the time that I was so strong but one day I told him no I'm really not as strong as you think I am all the time...I get weak too! And this is truly one of those times but he is not here to help me through those times.

I hear and see the word widow and it seems foreign to me because I can not comprehend being a widow at 43. I'm not supposed to sit in the front row of a pew to receive condolences! That's the worst seat in the place and I don't want it! Yes I know that it happens but it just seems out of order. People are supposed to love each other and grow old together and since that's not what happened my thoughts are distorted!

I just wish I could find a different emotion to hold on to so that I can hurry through this process. But I can't; there are steps to grief and the process of healing needs to take place. I hate this pain and grief so much!!!

marsha0622 10/07/2016

Dear Est92,
I am so very sorry for your loss. Please know that you are not alone. We are all going along the path and trying to heal from our horrific losses. Trying to learn how to deal with life without the most precious person in our lives. Please try to drink lots of water and stay hydrated and try to eat something at least once a day. Take deep calming breaths. You have just begun this journey that no one wants. I have felt coming to this site has been very helpful for me in knowing I am not alone. Everyone is here to help.
May God bless and keep you,
Marsha0622

Markie 10/07/2016

Dear Est,
I am so sorry for your loss, and as Marsha wrote, You are not alone. Take things minute by minute, hour by hour and day by day. Unfortunately, the price of Love is Grief….Learning to live with the changes in our lives is not a sprint but a marathon. Take care of yourself. Come to this site often. You can cry, rant, ask for help, share your thoughts, your fears, your stories and your tears. We will share ours also.
Blessings, Peace, Hope and Healing for you for today and for all that are hurting…….. Mark

Msbklyn 10/07/2016

Firstly, I am so very sorry for your loss. This is not something that you can rush, believe me I wished for that also. I just got past the 1 year anniversary a week ago and I know that at the beginning I needed to know others understood and to have my pain acknowledged. This is a good place to come for that. Just take one day at a time that's all you can handle initially. I still find it difficult to imagine the rest of my life without my husband with whom I spent almost 33 years. I wish you comfort and peace.

laurie1209 10/07/2016

So sorry for your loss. So much of your story echo's mine. You found a great support network here. Please message me if you need to talk. Sending you lots if f hugs, laurie

Est92 10/07/2016

Today was a really tough day and I truly thank you all for your words of encouragement and comfort. It means a lot! Unfortunately the loss of our loved ones has lead us to this place and it is comforting to know that there is support when and if needed.

RachaelF 10/07/2016

So sorry for your loss, i too just lost my husband two weeks ago. Im a widow at 41, he was only 45. I have contacted a therapist which has been very helpful and will be starting my 3rd session next week. My Pastor and family/ friends have been helpful too, but no one will really know the pain we feel. Wishing you peace through the mins, it really is just min by min. I highly recommend reaching out to a therapist to help you through the darkness.

Shrn 10/07/2016

One of the things I found helpful in the early days was writing in a journal. I would write how I was feeling and tell him about all my thoughts. It was almost like I was talking to him. After a short time I even knew what he would respond to my rambling. I filled two notebooks. I did my writing in the morning with my coffee, but others use evenings or throughout the day.
Very sorry for your loss and hope you find comfort and support being here with us. Sharon

luckydaughter 10/08/2016

So very sorry about your loss...............what a horrible shock that must have been. I am glad you found this forum. We are all walking through this darkness here and we try to support each other. Keep coming back.

porkchopcash 10/08/2016

I'm so sorry for your loss. All of it seems foreign and broken. Talking to my husband a lot seems to help and when I am having a panic attack go and take a few minutes by myself. I also make sure that I give myself grief time daily. It helps get me through the rest of the hard moments during the day when I am not free to do that. Praying for you.

widow11216 10/10/2016

My husband passed away in Nov. 2015 of a heart attack while laying in bed with me. We were making love.  He died on top of me. 
I went through the shock and other symptoms of grief and did go to grief counseling which did help to a degree, but not completely. 
 
I created an online blog.  Please look at my blog and how I am handling this thing called grief. The journal and my youtube channel online blog has helped me start to express some of my thoughts and feelings that I can't talk about with anyone else. The blog whether it is video or Tumblr is filled with thoughts and quotes that are very comforting. Some are sad,sometimes I cry while blogging but very fitting for me at this time. I pick up my phone and my thoughts and memories are pour into it whenever I need to. I keep it with me at all times, if possible. I would recommend this to anyone that has experienced a loss and needs an outlet.  Please feel free to look at my videos, read my blog or ask questions.  I will try and respond asap.
Come see my blog, 
https://youtu.be/dwSH4qQnsiA 
 
http://widowstartingover.tumblr.com/post/151591496858/missing-him 
 
 
http://widowstartingover.tumblr.com/post/150084501433/visiting-my-husband-grave 
 
https://youtu.be/-nreqEWNXDM 
 
https://youtu.be/Za3_oc_hBAE

msgood 10/11/2016

Thank you !! for sharing your blog, sad but oh so true on what not to say to a widow you hit it right on target! Again Thank-you............Hugs Jeanne

livebrilliantly 10/11/2016

My prayers and heart felt condolences to you! I will pray you find the strength you need to get through this. God Bless! You are not alone!

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