Hey P.....it's okay.....take a breath....I felt like that too. It's only natural. It's hard to let go of things that we relate to or remind us of our loved one. But whether we like it or not it will happen. Time marches on and no one but no one can stop it. Truthfully....there are so many milestones and so many firsts that you are going to have to overcome in this first year that will leave you feeling like that. But...you will be ok! Believe me! Take each day and each "first" one at a time. Right now, your pain is so very raw. Eventually, the fog will clear and hopefully you'll be able to remember all of the good times and be able to put the bad times away in a place that you rarely will visit.
No matter when....days from now, months or years from now....he will always be with you, guiding and protecting you. He will always be in your heart. Love is eternal.
I know it's hard that he's not here with you now, but life can be so unfair. It hurts so very much and I am so sorry. Take each day one at a time and try to survive it the best that you can. Take care of yourself and try to live in a way that would make your husband proud.
You can do this and we are all here for you in case you need any help. We all were where you are right now and we are all still standing. Sometimes I don't know how...but we've done it. And so can you my dear! Have faith in yourself and in the love that you shared.
So....here it is October 1 and you survived it. There....that's one step....one of many that you will get through....
Oh, and let me add one more thing, I thought about June the same way that you thought about September being the month that you still had him. Well...at some point I changed my thinking and also thought about it as the month that I lost him....so frankly I was kind of glad to see June go. Just another way to look at it sweetie.
I wish you strength for today and all the days to come.
Big hugs coming your way
Darcie

Hello P,
I agree with Darcie. I have had similar Grief Ambushes. Somebody told me that when these things happen, step back, take a deep breath and do the next thing (in fact one friend has had to tell me to take another deep breath a couple of times within the same minute). Step by step, Minute by Minute, Hour by hour, Day by day.
Hope, Blessings and Peace for you for today and for all that are hurting today... Mark

My husband died in June and when the Fall leaves began changing colors as they do in the northeast, I felt like you describe. Grief has many pitfalls and your feelings are real. We work through them as they appear and we will win over this. Sharon

Thank you so very much!!! I read your responses over and over yesterday and it helped me get through it. It was a very hard day. I love you. Thank you.

I know what you mean. I feel like I left my husband behind back in February of this year. But in other ways I feel like he left me behind because I'm alone on this earth and he has moved on to another place.