Widows & Widowers Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have lost a husband, wife, or partner. Anything is open for discussion here, with the hope that we can focus on grief, bereavement, life after loss, and continuing on after a great loss.

3,758 Members
19,465 Posts
0 Online
Death & Dying
/ Widows & Widowers Support Group

I'm Happy But yet I'm Sad

SandyZal
SandyZal

After my husband died I just couldn't stay in our house.  Too many memories.  I got an offer on my house before I even put in on the market.  It was a nightmare trying to get it sold.  Three months of wrangling with the buyers.  They wanted to lower the price for any reason.  Then when it came to closing the realtor and Title Company gave me wrong information which delayed the closing by a few days.  It's over. The house where my husband and I were so happy now belongs to someone else to do what they want with it.  I'm happy because the place is gone, but I'm sad because it seems like it's just another sign that he is gone.  He is off the planet forever never to return to my earthly life.  I can't wait to be with him in heaven but I guess I stay here because God has some plan for my life.   I don't know but I'm happy the house is gone.  I need the money and I don't need to be there, but I'm sad because it's just another sign he's gone.

Deodarglow
Deodarglow
Yes, that makes sense. Having mixed emotions seems like the new way of life for us. I'm sure I'd feel exactly the same as you, happy and sad if I sold this place. Just remember he's still with you always in spirit. He'd be proud of you for having the courage to sell the house and will be with you in your heart wherever you are. Hugs.
lori001
lori001
I understand your mixed emotions. I sold my home 3 months ago. It was too much property for me to take care of and too isolated out in the country. I had to get rid of a lot of things, which are now in storage while I'm staying with family and trying to figure out my next move. My husband passed away 3 years ago, and yes, it's another level of letting go of the life we shared. Like you, I'm relieved to not have the big property to care for, but it's also bittersweet as I let go of yet another aspect of the life I had with my husband. I'm trying to stay positive and imagine a new home that will bring my joy as I create my new life. Wishing you all the best as you move forward. It does get a little easier as time goes by, although at 3 years I can say that there's times when I still am stunned that he's gone. Blessings.....Lori
avmom
avmom
I too understand your emotions. I am currently in the escrow with the house I shared with my husband for 15 years. It has been almost 5 months since he is gone. It never felt right after he passed and it was too much for me and the kids to handle. Tomorrow I have the home inspection and I am terrified they will find something major that will need to be fixed. My husbands idea of fixing things was glue and tape. I wake up in the morning and look out onto my back yard and am sad I am leaving. This house holds a lot of memories but it is also where my husband died. I already bought a house near my family and I am excited to move but as I am getting rid of things it makes me sad all over. I wonder if his soul with come with me. I guess this is just part of the process of moving on.
SandyZal
SandyZal
I already moved out of my house and believe me his soul comes with you wherever you go. I just couldn't go back, to many memories. Be aware of those house inspections. We made a lot of improvements on our house but all they saw was the bad things. Since we lived in the country we didn't bother with permits and stuff like that. There were some things that needed to be fixed but they made it out like I was living in a hovel that was about ready to fall down, burn down, and become an environmental hazard. I got through this and so will you. I don't think I'll ever completely get over his death but I'm doing the best I can to move on.